Random Thoughts - Thoughts

Dream (her)

4/20/2025

Heave ho,
heave ho,
lay down your flag and go--

Heaven is but a dream on earth,
no place in reality,
so dream on, dream on.

Dreamer, some say,
dream...her... you may?

Or let go and pray,
for she is not your dream,
and your dream is not her.

Yet you keep searching and yearning,
or is that a lie, too?
A lie you tell yourself, your kin--
why you avoid the daylight, too?

Or is that dark patch you keep scratching over your soul healed now?
Will you stop picking at it then, soon?

Heave ho,
heave ho,
lay down your flag and go--

Hell is the nightmare in your brain,
stuck in that reality,
so wake up, wake up.

Dream her, yay or nay?
Dreamer, are you, do you still pray?

Does it follow you like you followed her, too?
Is that why you feel stuck,
does it suck?

Your dream is not her,
and she is not your dream,
so pray and let go.

Do you love it,
yet you hate it at the same time?

Photograph taken in frame,
shot to shit,
melted corners--
poison tastes just the same.

Heave ho,
heave ho,
hang the new flag...
...and go.

art:
"A Promise" - https://www.deviantart.com/vamkiretrannel
"Cyberpunk Edgerunners" - https://www.deviantart.com/afurerucolors

Omnipotent God

4/6/2025

Crumble To Dust,
I Will Be Here Long Before Your Ashes,
Are Long Gone To Rust,
There's A Reason I Remain,
And You Do Not,
Do Not Forget--

I Always Rot The Rot.

Always A God,
A King,
The One.

You Are But A Memory Now,
Forever Gone.

So Do Not Dare Keep Trying.

I Will Survive,
And You Will Always Keep Dying.

art by https://terryvanatta.com/projects/mD2W0E
and https://www.artstation.com/artwork/9mAB9R

The Joke [R] In Me

3/22/2025

"Adore me, baby"

Shameless smile, desire comes to light,
simmering fire, romance is the consequence,
you look my way, and I lose my--

"Hey, you wanna rule the world?"

Outlaw love, make you lose control.
Hey, hey...that smile got me like--

Burning hot, shivering, darling,
feel you in my skin-- start praying.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Those mysterious eyes teasing,
"take me"
do you need me in your bloodstream?

"hold me"
"break me"

This heart is for holding, come on dose me--

Will I need you in my bloodstream?

"kiss me"
"caress me"

Generous temperance, softly tracing your sacred skin,
fuel that fire, dance with sin,
quiet violence, sends chills dripping like acid rain,
keep coming back 'cause it's you I crave.

"Hey, let's rule the world."

"Come on, let's take control."

Har, har, you got me now--

Whoa,
burning hot, shivering, darling,
feel you in my skin--start praying.

Those mysterious eyes teasing,
"take me"
do you need me in your bloodstream?

"hold me"
"break me"

This heart is for holding, come on dose me--

Will I need you in my bloodstream?

"kiss me"
"caress me"

Ambulance

3/10/2025

Role call, you're up, Romy,
here's your black coffee.

Yes, Cassie, want a trophy?

Got some powerups inside my backpack.

Are you going to share, or do I need to hijack?

Nah, it's Tuesday night, let's go celebrate.

Got some snow coming later, will you wear a coat?

As long as you talk to Medusa, she's got news.

Pshtt, Cassie, old memories lost, that ain't my safe place.

Then step on the gas, this body ain't a new one,
a sore back, all those years goin' hard.

Aren't you slick, where's your baseball bat?
Should I just do what I want?

You know We're crazy--but AMAZING.

So again, will nothing phase T?

When we're together: Rotten Phenomenon.

Okay, let's hang--just don't get gone.

So call Us crazy,
We feel amazing,
T muggin' in the corner, "Nothing Will Phase Me."
Happy lights flashing, so we dance,
No more nights ending in an ambulance.

Move, Cockroach, You're Crowding The Headspace,
Humans, They Bore Me, No More Brain Aches!

Only good vibes, T, good vibes all day,
and if you don't wanna join Us then you can go away!

Cassie, happy as the night goes--

Romy, loving getting low!

You Know You Cannot Do That All Day?

If you don't like it, T, then go away!

Driving in the backseat, this ain't a brand new car!

Lay your seat back, cuz we about to go hard!
We lookin' real slick, here hold my chainsaw--

Cassie, still don't give a f***, she does what she wants.

So call Us crazy,
We feel amazing,

T muggin' in the corner, "Nothing Will Phase Me."
Happy lights flashing, so we dance,

No more nights ending in an ambulance.

We're feeling fine!

We're feeling good!

So call Us crazy,
We feel amazing,

T muggin' in the corner, "Nothing Will Phase Me."
Happy lights flashing, so we dance,

No more nights ending in an ambulance.

We're feeling fine!

We're feeling good!

No More Nights Ending In An Ambulance.

Art and artists credit:
"MS ART: She" - https://www.deviantart.com/pixel-3j
"The Old Colosseum" - https://www.deviantart.com/flaviobolla
"Medusa" - https://www.deviantart.com/alicechan

Isn't It Lovely?

3/9/2025

Thought You Were Done Being Led Astray,
Thought You Found A Way Out (Drowned)
So Do I Need To Stay Now?
Or--Will You Someday Make It Out Of Here?
Will It Take You All Night? Many More Years?
Do You Need A Place To Hide--No, Didn't You Hear?

Trying To Feel Alive, Inside Is Where I Find Your Fear.

Isn't It Lovely? You're All Alone.

Heart Frozen Black, Mind Turned To Stone,
No Longer In Pieces, No Skins And Bone.

Hello, My Dear.
I'm Home.

I've Walked Out From Time,
Forgot My Better Place (Forgot My Only Place)
So Tell Me, What's On Your Mind? (Unwind)
Always Stuck In Your Head Space.

Oh, I Know Someday You'll Make It Out There,
I'll Wait All Night--Or A Million Years.
No Need To Hide, Hold My Hand, Dear.
Let's Feel Alive, Outside, We Can See Crystal Clear.
Isn't It Lovely? No More Alone.
Heart Filled With Rage, Mind Of Thorns.
Let's Put Together Pieces, Rebuild Our Throne.

Hello, Truth...

...welcome home.

Art By:
"Dexter Morgan" - https://www.deviantart.com/plaiemobile
"Rusted Inferno" - https://www.deviantart.com/ptxeno

The State of My Head

2/24/2025

Inside The Aether, Some Time Ago

Observation: White darkness.

Deduction: The Quiet-- it has come back--and it surrounds this place.

Sound: Distant whispers tear through my tomb.

Sight: Light! No--lightning?

Smell: Burnt skin-- like charred ash engulfing the air-- suffocating it.

Voice: "It Was The Price Paid, Sister."

Deduction: War, once more--or never ending?

Inside The Aether, Some Time Passed

Observation: Constant thunderous lightning for what seems years after...

Realization: But I can not ever intervene. Leave and let live. He or she who dies shall die, he or she who lives shall live on.

Sound: Weeklong screams no more.

Sight: Roots have surrounded my tomb. Rotten roots overtaking...

Smell: Musty, grassy notes... stronger by each passing day.

Voice: "The Others deserved a break from this-- it is what is fair, T."

Deduction: I will never know unless I leave my tomb--visit Them.

Optional alternatives: 1) send Messenger, 2) start the Journey accompanied.

Decision: Conjure the Order. Visit Ra. Find Osiris. Seek Asylum with Anubis if needed. Do. Not. Die.

************************************************************

Art:
"Seker" from Dawn of Gods Wiki
"American Gods" paperback cover by Robert McGinnis, 2016
"Black Phoenix" art by Julie Dillon

10 Feet Down

1/29/2025

Yeah I know the Person in the mirror ain't a perfect one,
I look at Them and They stare me back,
always screaming, yelling, "Happy, you ain't the one!"
This fiction that became our life, nah, it ain't right,
I'm still young, still feel livin' life stuck in Chapter One,
the Others skim through, page by page, I can still hear Them mocking me,
but I don't find it funny, so laugh it up!

I always felt like They never listened to me, that's all I know,
The Library is where I reigned as God, but it's also where I stayed alone.
Yeah, I was forced to stay inside wondering,
is it what I deserve or what I am destined for?
My motivation slowly a fire being extinguished, people always yelling
"Happy no! Happy stay!"
The Others forget all that goes on inside The Library files always remember,
I was taught to be terrified by Memories, so don't need no lecturin',

Let me be, let me see, let me breathe, how will I be remembered?

Struggle and pain don't Alter who I am as a person, so go ahead take my energy!

Hard Chapters, even colder Episodes,
the Past an echo bringing up thoughts like,
Imma break again, Imma break will you break too?
Days turn to Nights,
Inside is like falling Ten Feet Down in slow-mo,
soon I'll be rising, rising up

Yeah, these Books are what made me,
even tho some also deceived me,
I felt forced to live life like I was always stricken,
I still sit at this Library desk, with plenty pages unfiled-- someone unseal me!
Wear a mask so The Others can't see me,
I feel the walls shake, 'bout to collapse again?
I look out the Library's windows, but no one comes to visit me,
I sit and wonder where The Others are, wonder when Tea Time arrives,
then the lights shut down, Library's closed, back to the empty Throne again, ahhh!

Yeah, seems like We're all back at Ladder One,
it's crazy what They would do to climb it faster,
back when climbing actually mattered,
They would all run to the top, not caring who fell or was tripped on,
but I know that feeling all too well, dealing with nothing new here,
That's a day in the life of being Happy, ain't it?

Life's life, be it what may, come or go, take it or leave it,
it ain't about gods or monsters, it's what dragged you outta that fire, ahhh!

Hard Chapters, even colder Episodes,
the Past an echo bringing up thoughts like,
Imma break again, Imma break will you break too?
Days turn to Nights,
Inside is like falling Ten Feet Down in slow-mo,
soon I'll be rising, rising up

I used to want what I never had,
This old life Inside doesn't seem so bad,
The old Library Inside doesn't seem so sad,
I no longer want what I never had.

wELcOmE tO tHe OtHer sIDe

1/19/2025

Present Day: Inside Roman's Volcano

Truth:

Right Here, Right Now,
I Put The Offer Out!
I Do Not Want To Chase You Down,
I Know You See It!
Roman, Run With Me,
And I Can Cut You Free!
Out Of The Drudgery And Walls You Keep In,
So Trade That Noir For Something Colorful!
And If It's Crazy, Live A Little Crazy!
You Can Play It Sensible, A King Of Conventional!
Or You Can Risk It All And See!

Don't You Wanna Get Away From The Same Old Part You Gotta Play?
'Cause I Got What You Need! Come With Me And Take The Ride!
I'll Take You To The Other Side!
'Cause You Can Do Like You Do,
Or You Can Do Like Me!

Stay In The Cage, Or You'll Finally Take The Key,
Oh, Damn! Suddenly You're Free To Fly!
I'll Take You To The Other Side!

Roman:

Okay, brother T, you want to cut me in
Well, I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen!
So thanks, but no--
I think I'm good to go!
'Cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in...
Now I admire you, and that whole show you do!
You're onto something, really it's something,
but I live among the swells, and we don't pick up peanut shells!
I'll have to leave that up to you!

Don't you know that I'm okay with this Underworldly part I get to play?
'Cause I got what I need and I don't want to take the ride
I don't need to see the other side!
So go and do like you do,
I'm good to do like me,
ain't in a cage, so I don't need to take the key!
Oh, damn, can't you see I'm doing fine?
I don't need to see tHe OtHer sIdE!

Now Is This Really How You Like To Spend Your Days?
Rum And Misery, No More Parties Or Plays?

If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town,
once more disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns!

But You Would Finally Live A Little, Finally Laugh A Little!
Just Let Me Give You The Freedom To Dream! And It'll Wake You Up And Cure Your Aching
Take Your Walls And Start 'Em Breaking!
Now That's A Deal That Seems Worth Taking!
...But I Guess I'll Leave That Up To You...

Well, it's intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly--
So what percentage of the show would I be taking?

Well, Fair Enough--You'd Want A Piece Of All The Action...
I'd Give You Seven! We Could Shake And Make It Happen.

I wasn't born this morning, eighteen would be just fine--

Why Not Just Go Ahead And Ask For Nickels On The Dime?

Fifteen!

I'd Do Eight

Twelve!

Maybe Nine...

Ten!

Both:

Don't you wanna get away to a whole new part you're gonna play?
'Cause I Got What You Need, So Come With Me And Take The Ride
To The Other Side!
So if you do like I do
So If You Do Like Me
Forget the cage, 'cause we know how to make the key!
Oh, Damn, Suddenly We're Free To Fly!
We're going to the other side
So if you do like I do
(To The Other Side)
So If You Do Like Me
(Going to the other side)
'Cause If We Do-- we're going to the other side!
We're going to The Other Side!

Alastor art by https://x.com/_kookiesz

Vox art by https://www.deviantart.com/averahikari/gallery

Third illustration by https://www.deviantart.com/kawacy/gallery

Nocturnal Animals

10/30/2024

No more alone,
no love to cash in,
no more dead lovers getting behind and out of sight,
just another violent night,
yeah, yeah, yeah...

I shoulda guessed the past would come back in,
I couldn't see behind my red rage eyes,
spewin' blood out of my broken teeth and lies,
yeah, yeah, yeah...
Here comes the best part of our hell,
nobody to blame but myself--

'Cuz I know I'm poison,
feedin' them poison,
starvin' yet completely full, I can't help but puke it out,
that poison,
I made my choice and every day I'm living like there's no tomorrow

Oh-oh, oh-oh,
anyway, go and hate me, baby,
that's the only way you'll have me,
I'll be yours,
your story gonna end with you starved from my poison

I got so good at lyin'
I got so good at manipulatin'
I disassociate, disappear,
yeah, yeah, yeah,
so hard for you to resist another gulp,
yeah, I know I'm poison,
feedin' ya poison

You're chokin' from the taste, hurry up and swallow,
down my poison,
you made your choice and every night you'll be wasted like there's no tomorrow.

Oh-oh, oh-oh
you can't have me, baby,
yet you still want me, to be yours?
Our story's gonna end with one dead from this poison,
poison,
drownin' in poison
Fill up my glass, it's hollow--
Fill it with poison, are you sick of the poison?
Do you wish you had something to live for tomorrow?

Art by: Joe Quesada, Alex Dang, and Alex Ross respectively.

What Does Not Kill You... only makes you stranger

10/22/2024

We don't run our mouth,
We let our scars do all the talkin',
crows fly west, wolves howl north,
the moment We walk in,

The Gods know where our Demons lie,
they're never far from here,
only one We answer to stares back in the mirror,

Devil We know,
Angel We know,
is a Hell of a lot better
than the God that We don't

We are what We are,
that's what We'll always be,
We chose this life,
and this life chose We

This world ain't make believe,
no candle lights your way,
so embrace it all,
and make your way

Devil We know,
Angel We know,
is a Hell of a lot better
than the God that We don't

There Are Not Many Built Like Me,
I'm The Last Of My Kind,
Grew Up On The Hard Road, Darling,
I've Always Been Known To Survive,
Been Ready, About To Go Guns Blazing,
So Better Not Try,
I'm The Last Of My Kind.

If You're Joining Me In The Fire, Maybe,
Bring A Trench Coat, Honey,
Fire's About To Rain,
Join The Last Of My Kind.

Surprised Still Standing,
Up High In The Red Rock Mountain,
Far From Gone--Not Yet,
Watch The Black Birds Surround That Blue Sky.

I'll Forever Remain,
The Last Of My Kind.

"The Collective©" -
A Vessel of Opportunity, circa 2011-Present and ongoing.

Welcome dear reader to my own Pandora's Box-- inside and outside The Aether. This is where fiction and reality clash as gods and monsters dance engulfed in long standing battles for power, control, and ultimately, peace amongst one another.

"Endings are hard, but in reality, nothing ever ends, does it?"

Check out my Deviantart website for my art at: http://p1ls3n3r.deviantart.com/

Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents on this site are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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