Two Sides of a Coin
“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.”
What do you see when you wake up and look at yourself in the mirror? Who do you see staring back? Do you take a moment to peel the mask away to prepare for whatever the day will bring?
I did so for a long while. I couldn't bear what I had become; I had lost track of the goodness in my heart and the plans to become what I wanted and do what I wanted in my near future. I became lost. It was almost as if I was just moving along with the tide.
I hated who I was, could barely look at myself in the mirror. I hated the person I was becoming, so angry all the time, so moody and also almost always escaping into the bottom of a bottle to avoid facing my problems. It was pathetic and I hated it.
I hated ME.
It took me a whole year to rediscover who I was on the inside and who I was on the outside. A little bit of exploring is all it took, well, that and some extra-curricular activities. Something to get my mind going, working like a windmill, constantly turning and evolving.
So it was then that I evolved into who I am now; a better ME.
I began to enjoy the new and improved version of me; it was as if I had hatched from a cocoon and turned into the person who I was meant to be, focusing on all my potential and using it towards better situations.
But it took work, hard work, and it wasn't easy. I had to let go of all the bad, including friendships and acquaintances, and hitting "restart" a couple of times until I got it right.
It wasn't until recently, however, that I discovered that a little bit of that old me was still there, under the mask. And there would be days when I felt like the mask was slipping. Like that old me was beginning to peek through the holes in the mask, wanting to come back.
But I couldn't let that happen.
I couldn't go back to that old me.
I didn't love Him.
I loved this new Me.
And He loved me.