Honesty is a Lie Away
"Truth always sounds like lies to a sinner."
Human nature is deceitful. It's natural for a person to lie, to tell false truths. I should know this, God knows how many times I've lied, how many secrets I've kept and how I've managed to live knowing how people I care about have been hurt because of this. Multiple times...and probably won't be the last time such things happen. Human nature also has the tendency to self-destruct--constantly and periodically--which is a big burden that has been passed down since the fall of man at the garden of Eden.
I'm not perfect; saying that I am would be a lie and a big one at that. People ask me what I'm going to do after I graduate college, after I get my Bachelors and what do I tell these people? The truth? No, something that I like to call the default answer. The words that come out of your mouth instantly--on cue--when you are 100% sure it's exactly what they want to hear. Some people might call that a lie. You see, I don't have the slightest clue of whether or not my "big master plan" will work once I graduate. A ton of things could happen and make my life spiral out of control, I just might not know it yet. I could be sitting here thinking 'after I graduate I'll go work, make money, get my own place, then work on finishing my novel and start looking for potential publishers' while down the road on a night like this I could be at a funeral or living off the street, or God knows what. People laugh when I tell them I'm an English major and that I like to write and would love for that to be my way of making a living. It's because of people laughing that I then have my default answer just waiting to jump out of my mouth and into their ears. Truth is... I'm f*cking scared. Plain and simple. I don't know if I'll be able to follow the plan step by step. I don't know this because I can't know this. It's out of my hands. It's happening in the future not in the now. So I lie. I tell people I know exactly how my life will unfold so I can cover my fear and somehow prove to the people who laughed at me that they are wrong. But you see, to some people this might not constitute the idea of a "lie." This to some can be an everyday thing, a normal thing, a brush-it-off-your-shoulder kind of event. So maybe I'm starting to babble and lose track of the point of this post, but the main thing I'm trying to say here is that people lie. People lie all the time. It's up to us individually to look through these lies, not past them. It doesn't matter if it's a "white lie" or a big "life-threatening" lie. A lie is a lie. It's a sin. A sin I've broken many times and probably still will. Perhaps it's because of how I've strayed away from my faith, but that's a topic for another post.
Look through the lies, not past them, not above them, not below them. Through them. Dissect them. Understand them. Do not ignore them. I'll tell you this much, I am 100% aware of every lie I tell from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. This is because God's decided to give me "the voice of guilt," as I call it. I can't explain it other than by saying that every time I tell a lie I put myself down because I am aware it's a false truth. A constant reminder of the consequences. And then I can either choose to rectify myself or say nothing and keep the lie alive. You see, it takes a liar to know one. And God knows I lie...
King See No Evil
(Kärkkäinen, Saaresto, Nikkilä)
Listen dreamy eyes, reality’s here
I know you can love, but is it bartered for fear
To give no quarter is to leave it to fate
To cast the die, to clean the slate
Confusion becomes paranoia
Twilight mourning this reign of denial
Horizons ablaze, speak of the devil
Whispers crying, fear faking a smile
The end of days, King see no evil
Wipe your teary eyes, you painted this scream
Viper in hand, you’re still asking to dream
In the final hour who would adorn
A house of cards before the storm
Extinction begets hysteria
Twilight mourning this reign of denial
Horizons ablaze, speak of the devil
Whispers crying, fear faking a smile
The end of days, King see no evil
So eat your anger, your viper gander
I know your hunger makes you blind
And it’s no wonder when the game is over
You’re still nurturing lies to leave behind
Twilight mourning this reign of denial
Horizons ablaze, speak of the devil
Whispers crying, fear faking a smile
The end of days, King see no evil
(Kärkkäinen, Saaresto, Nikkilä)
Listen dreamy eyes, reality’s here
I know you can love, but is it bartered for fear
To give no quarter is to leave it to fate
To cast the die, to clean the slate
Confusion becomes paranoia
Twilight mourning this reign of denial
Horizons ablaze, speak of the devil
Whispers crying, fear faking a smile
The end of days, King see no evil
Wipe your teary eyes, you painted this scream
Viper in hand, you’re still asking to dream
In the final hour who would adorn
A house of cards before the storm
Extinction begets hysteria
Twilight mourning this reign of denial
Horizons ablaze, speak of the devil
Whispers crying, fear faking a smile
The end of days, King see no evil
So eat your anger, your viper gander
I know your hunger makes you blind
And it’s no wonder when the game is over
You’re still nurturing lies to leave behind
Twilight mourning this reign of denial
Horizons ablaze, speak of the devil
Whispers crying, fear faking a smile
The end of days, King see no evil
