...Who Needs Enemies?
"A good friend is like a toilet, because they take your shit without complaining."
One thing I've always valued in life is a good friend. Now, when I talk about a good friend, I mean a real friend, not a fake lifeless piece of garbage who pretends to like you only to get something from you or to take advantage of the situation that your "friendship" brings. In the few years I've lived I've learned valuable lessons when it comes to trusting somebody (trust will be a topic for another page) with your inner secrets and then realizing that if they don't run away or use said secrets against you that they might actually be candidates for being a great friend. However, we need to get through the basics first. What constitutes a great friend, and what exactly means to be a great friend?
There are various types of people in this world just like there are various types of friends, but I like to classify them in these two categories:
- The True Friend or Best Friend: this type of friend is the one that will do all types of crazy stuff by your side. I'm talking about the kind of person that will rather spend the night in jail after a night of craziness rather than seeing you get pegged on all the blame and end up in the back of a cop car by yourself. I'm talking about the kind of person that will be by your side no matter what, that will go to the ends of the earth to accompany you in any battle life might bring you. This guy is a true friend. I went through a drastic change when I was fifteen years of age; I moved to the United States and pretty much left my true friends back there in the south. Now I know that those people back there are true friends because of one simple thing. They could have chosen to stop talking to me and forgotten all about me when I moved, but they didn't. You see, true friendship involves contact. And I'm not talking about physical contact, I'm talking about calling somebody to see if they are still alive, or writing a letter to see what has changed in their lives, or any other way to show that they care. I've known these people for almost 12 years and we still talk, and whenever I go back to visit, we hang out. These guys are true friends. We've talked about pretty much anything you can imagine. And we never break contact. This is important. A best friend, as it can be called also, is the type of person who has your back no matter what the storm might bring. When I moved to the States I got to meet new people, some that I never thought I would end up calling my best friends today. These people (you know who you are) are the ones that give you shit constantly. In a good way. You see, when you have a best friend it is in both parties' interest to give the other as much shit as possible. The reason being is because we, as human beings, need to be entertained. I'm not talking about put downs or other bully activity. I'm talking about jokes with sense of humor. I'm talking about laughing together, not at each other (although that could happen sometimes) and then moving on. I know some people who will have my back, but keep in mind that it is your duty as a best friend to have their back as well. You can't run around in life having people care for you and not caring back. You need to know that there could be consequences if that were to happen. No one, and I mean when I say this, no one likes a backstabber. Ever met a person who you thought was your friend only to turn around and find it hard to reach those knives in your back? I sure have. I've lost important people in my life because of that. Keep in mind this goes both ways as well. You have to be a strong person with a backbone. This also means that you are willing to take a fall with your best friend if need to. The best friend. The true friend. The person you will always remember and that you'll never forget.
- The Acquaintance: this can go many ways. I shall start with the most easiest. Take a look at your Facebook friends list (if you have one). What do you see? A big number? A small number? In the technological age we have broaden our relationships--as well as closed them--by the use of social networking sites. One thing everyone cannot deny, though: of all the friends you have on that list, do you really talk to every single one in the same way? If at all? Think about it. We all have different types of friends but when it comes to this list, do we really treat each one equally? I don't think so. I'm not gonna lie, I've had people on that list that I've valued as just "numbers" on a list. I've gone through it carefully to make sure that didn't happen again. Having a person in your life as just "another one" to add to a list is neither healthy nor respectful. For both persons. An acquaintance is somebody, for example, that you meet at work and decide to grab a cup of coffee with but does not, in any way, trust you with their secrets or that you would lie to protect if something were to happen to such individual. An acquaintance is somebody that you hang out with because you like them enough to care to share a moment with them, but just a moment, not an entire life or friendship. I'm talking about the person you don't speak to in a day-to-day basis, or the person you see everyday, or even the person that you invite to meet your family. This guy is the type of person that is willing to socialize. To share a moment. The person that makes a small impact on your life; the one you will easily forget, but keep in the back of your mind.
Now stop for a moment and think about this; who in your life fits the descriptions above? Do you intend on making acquaintances become your best friends? Are you willing to go further with that? It is important to know who in your life fits the bill above. Not only because it will help you carry a healthy friendship and have less enemies in life, but also because it will make things more clear in your life. It will help you understand the value of friendship and the value of the individual.
Best friends stick around because you matter. Make sure you stick around for the right person.
*** The Truth is Complicated ***