Death's Toll

“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”

In seconds it can happen to you...it could happen to the person next to you. To your neighbor. Death. It comes when you least expect it, and sometimes you can cheat death if you are lucky enough. Or I guess it depends on what you believe in. It could be that it's not your time just yet, but the man upstairs has some plans for you and causes this near-death experience to happen to you so you can learn something from it. Maybe it has to do with appreciating life, or what's in it: friends, family, those people who you don't notice and yet they care for you for some reason. I've had quite the close-calls during the past couple of years and it's pretty f*cking scary, I won't lie. You think everything is going just fine and all of a sudden you are inches away from dying. The feeling you get is inexplicable. But then the moment is done. Over. You can breathe now, relax, take a look at your life and decide why this has happened to you. It's not the idea of dying that scares most people, it's the idea that you don't know when it might happen. 

They say ignorance is bliss, in this case the premise fails.

***The Truth Is Complicated***

Euphoria
(Phoenix Effect & Marko Saaresto)

Euphoria I´m here
So please come in and help me to deny
To numb my will, some more wine, to help me fly
I´m so afraid to try

Drop your bombs, fire the guns
Do anything you want
Kill the flame, kill the love
You are the chosen one
Losing me, losing you
The only thing I want
But still, you are on my mind

This war keeps going on, but I won’t lay down and die
You can strike me down, but I will not live a lie
Live inside these dreams

Euphoria goodbye
Your lies cut deep, but I recognize these feelings
No longer shackled by the time
I used to shine, the light of false beliefs

Drop your bombs, fire the guns
Anything you want
To play the same is to lose the game
So I gave up the hunt
And it's by far the best deed I've done

This war keeps going on, but I won’t lay down and die
You can strike me down, but I will not live a lie

Is this the right conclusion
Or just my minds illusion
Show me cos I don´t know where to go
Is this annihilation
Bliss or suffocation
Tell me what I need to know

---

Melancholia 
by Me

Loud.

Those horns calling out to me,

melody rings in my ears as I stand still,

listening attentively, waiting.

It’s time to go.

Rubber touches dirt, sinking and leaving craters on the earth,

now scarred but I hear no complaints,

tripping over hard steel I reconsider as something below me vibrates,

that sound… the horns again.

It’s coming.

As my feet move forward my mind goes elsewhere,

her face appears next to me,

a blurry image of her beauty,

and then I feel it.

The ground below me is shaking.

Her smile vanishes into thin air,

I notice I’ve kept walking,

I am now further away from where I started.

In that moment,

I hear it.

Those horns once more,

like trumpets from an orchestra,

calling out seeking a response,

but my mind ignores them.

Reality is punctured by memory yet again.

She reappears walking beside me,

she holds out her hand reaching,

mouthing words I cannot make out,

confused, I stare at her.

So she screams.

Intensified by the horns her voice becomes distorted,

loud and deafening it’s now pure noise.

I reach out to her but her body turns to

ash, I wasn’t quick enough.

I’m sorry.

My instant response is a mirror image,

opening widely my jaw stretches

but only a gasp covers the air.

And then the horns.

Those blasted horns.

I feel my stomach drop at the sight of her,

a sick feeling engulfs me.

Noticing the wind carrying away the dust,

I realize how further away my feet have carried me.

Reality.

But it doesn’t stop.

It keeps coming faster,

the horns become a reminder that--

she’s not here—I still want her.

Then it hits me.

Eyes open slowly and a bright light is upon me;

realization that I’m awake is presented.

“Ash…” I whisper.

I can still hear the horns.