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"No chic flick moments."
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It all started with a random moment of boredom. I had a free day and nothing to do, so I got on my Xbox and looked for free downloads. I stumbled upon a free episode, it was Season 3, Episode 16 entitled "No Rest for the Wicked."
Right from the get-go, the title caught my attention. I've always liked that phrase, it resonated with me so much. So of course, I chose to download the episode, I mean, it was free, right? How could I go wrong? So the next thing that happens is that I am watching the finale of Season 3 of Supernatural. I have no clue as to what in the hell is going on. Literally. Dean goes to hell, and I'm left with a huge question mark in my face, but the one thing that I am 100% positive is that I love this show. |
So the next thing I want to do is find out more; so I go to Walmart and pray that I can find the whole Season 1 somewhere. And I do. And I binge.
And I love it.
The premise of the Pilot episode alone grabs me like no other, and I'll tell you why.
The Pilot episode has a father tell the oldest of the brothers to watch out for the young one after their mom is lost to a demon attack. Now, afterwards, the father goes missing on a hunt for what's called the Yellow-Eyed Demon. Now...the oldest brother, years later, finds the youngest at a college dorm and tells him that their father is missing, and that they need to find him.
Let me stop here for a second, and yes, I've written about this before on this website, but let me reiterate for a second. When my parents divorced, my father made me promise to always look out after my younger brother.
My father then became kind of an absentee figure in my life, more so after my move to the States.
And I never forgot that promise.
Forgive me, but I couldn't relate more to this show even if I tried.
For the longest time I related more to Sam than I did with Dean; ignoring the fact that Dean was the oldest, as the seasons progressed, I related more to Sammy because he seemed to have been the damaged one. Or at least, the one needing help. I discovered this show after I had gone through a hard time in my life, so like always, the timing couldn't have been more perfect.
As the years went by, I got my family's support, and I got my brother's support more importantly, and so I kept relating more to Sam.
It wasn't until my most recent ex-girlfriend that I realized I was definitely more Dean than Sam, and I'll tell you why.
"You're a bad-ass," she had told me. And she hadn't watched the show because she thought it would be too scary for her. But after some convincing by her best friend, who also loved the show, and some praise from me, she got into it. And slowly she started seeing parallels between me and Dean.
Dean Winchester: the protector, loyal to the cause, willing to sacrifice, setting the example, like father like son. It was spelled out there for me, I had just chosen to ignore it.
So suddenly, a burst of enlightenment hit me. And I started appealing to Dean's mannerisms, quotations, etc. It all served as inspiration for me to better myself, to strengthen my courage, my will to keep going. Especially because when I got together with her I had just bounced back from my DUI and was in recovery.
I was in a low place...and it was going to take a lot for me to come back from it.
And I will admit it, looking up to the tragic hero Dean Winchester is did just that--it helped.
And it just so happened that the story arc that currently was playing on the season I was watching, resonated with what was going on through my life as well.
Dean was corrupted, and I had been corrupted by the drinking.
Dean was a wayward son who needed saving instead of doing the act of saving, and I needed all the help I could get, whether from therapy or family, to bounce back.
Grandfather always told me everything happens for a reason, and whether you believe that or not, I deeply believe that I didn't just stumble upon Supernatural for no reason.
Sometimes, the little things can pack a huge impact on people.
Supernatural had a story to tell, and I was willing to listen.
Now some people might laugh, or give me a hard time for dressing like Dean, but I will be perfectly honest with you. I used to hate the person I was, how I looked, my mannerism, what I enjoyed doing. I followed Dean's story and mimicked it because it helped me grow past all this.
It helped me realize I can love who I am, I can enjoy what I do. I no longer let other people's thoughts or actions hurt me or bring me down.
I know who I am. I love who I am.
I'm one tough sonofabitch, and let me tell you this, my story isn't over yet. Not by a long shot.
And I love it.
The premise of the Pilot episode alone grabs me like no other, and I'll tell you why.
The Pilot episode has a father tell the oldest of the brothers to watch out for the young one after their mom is lost to a demon attack. Now, afterwards, the father goes missing on a hunt for what's called the Yellow-Eyed Demon. Now...the oldest brother, years later, finds the youngest at a college dorm and tells him that their father is missing, and that they need to find him.
Let me stop here for a second, and yes, I've written about this before on this website, but let me reiterate for a second. When my parents divorced, my father made me promise to always look out after my younger brother.
My father then became kind of an absentee figure in my life, more so after my move to the States.
And I never forgot that promise.
Forgive me, but I couldn't relate more to this show even if I tried.
For the longest time I related more to Sam than I did with Dean; ignoring the fact that Dean was the oldest, as the seasons progressed, I related more to Sammy because he seemed to have been the damaged one. Or at least, the one needing help. I discovered this show after I had gone through a hard time in my life, so like always, the timing couldn't have been more perfect.
As the years went by, I got my family's support, and I got my brother's support more importantly, and so I kept relating more to Sam.
It wasn't until my most recent ex-girlfriend that I realized I was definitely more Dean than Sam, and I'll tell you why.
"You're a bad-ass," she had told me. And she hadn't watched the show because she thought it would be too scary for her. But after some convincing by her best friend, who also loved the show, and some praise from me, she got into it. And slowly she started seeing parallels between me and Dean.
Dean Winchester: the protector, loyal to the cause, willing to sacrifice, setting the example, like father like son. It was spelled out there for me, I had just chosen to ignore it.
So suddenly, a burst of enlightenment hit me. And I started appealing to Dean's mannerisms, quotations, etc. It all served as inspiration for me to better myself, to strengthen my courage, my will to keep going. Especially because when I got together with her I had just bounced back from my DUI and was in recovery.
I was in a low place...and it was going to take a lot for me to come back from it.
And I will admit it, looking up to the tragic hero Dean Winchester is did just that--it helped.
And it just so happened that the story arc that currently was playing on the season I was watching, resonated with what was going on through my life as well.
Dean was corrupted, and I had been corrupted by the drinking.
Dean was a wayward son who needed saving instead of doing the act of saving, and I needed all the help I could get, whether from therapy or family, to bounce back.
Grandfather always told me everything happens for a reason, and whether you believe that or not, I deeply believe that I didn't just stumble upon Supernatural for no reason.
Sometimes, the little things can pack a huge impact on people.
Supernatural had a story to tell, and I was willing to listen.
Now some people might laugh, or give me a hard time for dressing like Dean, but I will be perfectly honest with you. I used to hate the person I was, how I looked, my mannerism, what I enjoyed doing. I followed Dean's story and mimicked it because it helped me grow past all this.
It helped me realize I can love who I am, I can enjoy what I do. I no longer let other people's thoughts or actions hurt me or bring me down.
I know who I am. I love who I am.
I'm one tough sonofabitch, and let me tell you this, my story isn't over yet. Not by a long shot.
EXORCIZAMUS TE, OMNIS IMMUNDUS SPIRITUS, OMNIS SATANICA POTESTAS, OMNIS INCURSIO INFERNIIS ADVERSARII, OMNIS IEGIO, OMNIS CONGREGATO ET SECTA DIABOIICA. ERGO, DRACO MAIEDICTE, ECCIESIAM TUAM SECRI TIBI FACIAS IIBERTATE SERVIRE, TE ROGAMUS, ADIOS, BITCH.
"Those stories that we tell that keep us going, sometimes they blind us, they take us to dark places, but the people who love me, they pull me back from that edge." |
"Be strong in the moments where you want to be weak." - Jensen Ackles |