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Maybe Everything is Exactly as it Should Be

6/13/2014

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"All I heard was in my heart, dim, but...fast, like footsteps fleeing into silence. I feel like I've been gradually becoming different for a while. I just feel like somebody else."
Who am I?

It's a question that's evaded my answer for over a year now. Was it because I felt lost? Probably so. I fell. Again. Hard. And this time, it was hard enough to make me lose sight of who I was. What my identity was...or used to be? I am not quite sure, but what I do know now is that it didn't happen in vain. 

With every fall, there must also come a great step up. But first, I went through changes. I decided that I couldn't keep the same people I hung out with all the time, and thus I pushed them away. This didn't feel like the right choice for a while, but at the time it was the only choice. I had to push away the people I cared the most about because I needed a fresh start. And in order to make this happen, I needed a clean slate.

Believe me, it hurt like hell when I did it, but now I see why. This needed to happen. The only way now is forward, and despite going a whole year in isolation, I am now ready to start over. I've learned a lot from this past year and not only about myself, but also about my surroundings. 

I've decided that where I am now, is not where I need to be. I am looking toward my future now, and I've come to realize that in order to pursue it, I must pursue new avenues. After struggling to find myself again, I've grown stronger and wiser. I've learned that certain things need to be avoided, and have chosen to go alcohol-free for the rest of my life. I've realized I don't need this vice anymore and that I can be cleaner and healthier in mind and body AND spirit without it. 



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I've also realized that I can no longer play the ultimate hero. I can't save everyone--and this was specially true a year ago when I couldn't even save myself. But that has changed now--I can totally save myself. And this is because I have been given a second chance to change, and I'm taking it. 


However, I know that there are some people that can't be saved--and this isn't a failure on my part. Some people just choose not to be saved, by someone, or by themselves. And that's okay. There are plenty of people that will go through a life-changing event and it is their own duty to realize how to handle it. I have to focus on myself and my changes and how that affects those close to me and how it shapes my future.

I am changed.

I am ready to embrace my identity. Who I am. That which I had lost sight of for over a year.

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First Post!

11/18/2011

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Alright, so I decided to launch a website where I will pretty much blog or just add some of my writing to whoever wants to or cares to read. Reason why I'm doing this is to keep my Writer's mind working, that is to say, to improve my writing by writing more. This can also help me get some of my thoughts out there. I will also write on topics of importance and that might or might not help people who read them. I just need to get on writing so I can better myself and my skills so when I have time to write my novel, I can tackle it and get it done.

So step into the writer's mind.....if you dare.


***The Truth is Complicated***
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    Writer/Artist

    My name is Francisco, you can call me Zisco.

    Endings are hard, but in reality, nothing ever ends, does it?

    I'm not perfect, I'm just a human being. I make mistakes and I try to redeem myself. Life ain't easy, but I manage. I like to help people with their problems, but when they are too much for me to handle, I much rather not. I'm a great listener, but there are things I believe are better handled on your own.

    Check out my Deviantart website at: http://p1ls3n3r.deviantart.com/
    And while you are at it, check out my YouTube channel:  http://www.youtube.com/user/ziscokid88?feature=mhee

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