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A Real Nasty Piece of Work

5/20/2015

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Know when to walk away.


There comes a time in your life when you get to make an incredibly hard choice of whether or not you can walk away from a situation that presents itself in front of you. This situation pins you against a wall, making you look deep inside you, and when you do, you imagine the consequences.


If you have a really vivid imagination like I do, then the consequences alone can take you on a road that can either be painful to watch, or confusing to see.


My back was against the wall the other day, I felt...helpless. I felt like it had been a while since I had felt this way, and not only was the feeling welcoming, but it was also a bit...strange. Like I needed to feel this way but it wasn't necessarily bad. Why wasn't helplessness a bad feeling? It should be, but it didn't feel like it.


I guess I had gotten used to my life changing around and finally getting on track, that all of sudden, when I was presented with the situation, I didn't know what to do, and that was okay.


My choices presented themselves; I could either choose to destroy a relationship, or choose to walk away from it. If I had chosen to stay, and decided to break that relationship, get in the middle of it, that would've meant the consequences of those actions would cause a ripple effect to that person I was about to get involved with. I had detached myself from other people for so long that I thought that this choice was the right one. Only because I would've gained something from it. But this choice wasn't the right one. This choice involved selfishness. If I followed this path, it would've meant that I was only thinking of myself, and not the other person. That alone would've made me what I've feared of becoming for so long: a real nasty piece of work. Someone who only cares about himself, someone who will do anything to gain what he wants with no remorse, no recognition of the consequences this path lays before him and unto others.


So I chose the second path. My second choice was to walk away. Years ago I made a similar mistake, but it wasn't because I was so detached from people, or because I was selfish, back then I did it because I didn't care and I didn't know better. I was young and stupid, but now, now I can see so much more. Now I knew exactly when and how to walk away from the situation. I imagined the consequences, I saw what path this choice would create for the other person as well as for me. I couldn't bear that image in my head, it was poison, it felt wrong, and I understood what I needed to do.


So I walked away. I realized that whatever hurt, whatever pain I could cause would not even begin to materialize into that person's life the very moment that I walked away. Pain is unavoidable, but suffering, suffering is optional.


So as I detached myself from this individual, and whatever feelings were about to be discovered, I realized that I wasn't completely broken. I wasn't completely detached from others, from people. I realized that a small percentage of who I used to be was coming back. Those feelings I've hid for so long where still there, they just needed to be revisited, and re-discovered in a much different way.


Some say that you learn from your mistakes, but what most don't realize, is that you repeat your mistakes, over and over again, but only because each time you revisit an old mistake in a similar fashion, you are learning more about how to avoid it, or prevent it.


I ruined a marriage once upon a time, by getting involved, instead of walking away.


The other day, I could have relived that mistake--except I didn't. I know better. I chose to walk away.


Learn to walk away.
Know when to walk away.


And I promise you, you won't regret it, and you'll look in the mirror and be glad that you didn't turn into a real nasty piece of work.


Because once you cross that line, there will be no one else that hates you more than yourself.


And crawling out of that hole can be extremely hard. And painful.
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Amazing.

5/14/2015

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Sometimes you just HAVE to feel amazing.

Ever have those days where you feel overwhelmed? You seem to be giving it your best shot, but somehow the problems are one step ahead of ya and you end up accumulating the stress. You reach out for help and you somehow manage to spread it around, a little here a little there, a helping hand here and one there.

I have come to realize that in order to get through the day, sometimes you just have to keep telling yourself you can do it. That you feel amazing and no matter how much stress piles upon you, you'll come out the other end okay.

I like to paint t-shirts; it's a hobby of mine that I like to do from now and then. It takes a lot of time because I use sharpies and I like to color the whole shirt. I hate leaving any bit of white space, unless it's needed, so I like to go all out. I have a Spider-Man shirt that I made, one that is inspired from the original costume Peter first wore. If you've taken the time to read over the "Hero" portion of this website under the category Masks, you already know why Spider-Man is important to me. But in order to get to my point, I will add that I keep this Spidey shirt hanging on the door of my open closet, now the reason why I do this is because I like to glance at it from time to time.

I glance at it specially at moments where I am stressed out, or feel defeated; mentally and physically. It's my little reminder that you got to remain strong. No matter the situation, you got to keep fighting.

So I look at it and remind myself, you got to feel amazing. That's who you are.

That's who you can be and should be.
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Another year gone by

5/1/2015

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Do you ever feel like the days are passing you by? Like you lose track of time because of how fast it seems to fly above you and through you? I sure do.


I almost feel like I'm missing something. Perhaps it is because my mind is focused on something more important than time itself. I am so focused on keeping up with work and my responsibilities that I lose track of what day I'm on. I have episodes where I completely lose sense of time. I can be doing some writing and all of a sudden it's the next day. I can be arriving at work and all of a sudden it's time to go back home.


I turned 27 two days ago and yet it feels like it didn't even happen. Like I'm miles and miles away from that moment.


There have been small distractions here and there though, small events where my mind is brought to a halt and is forced to realize where and when I am.


Could this be a good thing?


It feels new. It feels... uncomfortable.
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    Writer/Artist

    My name is Francisco, you can call me Zisco.

    Endings are hard, but in reality, nothing ever ends, does it?

    I'm not perfect, I'm just a human being. I make mistakes and I try to redeem myself. Life ain't easy, but I manage. I like to help people with their problems, but when they are too much for me to handle, I much rather not. I'm a great listener, but there are things I believe are better handled on your own.

    Check out my Deviantart website at: http://p1ls3n3r.deviantart.com/
    And while you are at it, check out my YouTube channel:  http://www.youtube.com/user/ziscokid88?feature=mhee

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