And today, you're about to.
This isn't one of my proudest moments. And I do not think I will ever atone for this mistake.
They say every rose has its thorns, but what they never tell you is that sometimes, those thorns have poison, and if you aren't careful enough, you might end up getting an infection.
I'm not going to sit here and write out that the blame is all hers, because it is not. After the Denver fiasco, I met this woman. No, not a girl, a woman. And I thought nothing much of it at first, but like always, there is more to the story.
We met at work and what I thought would end up in friendship, ended up in disaster. I knew she had some interest in me; I must have been giving off some kind of aura that attracted her towards me, because as far as I knew, I was still in recovery and wanted no part of any kind of relationship. If anything, I was a desperate broken boy looking to hold on to the first person to offer comfort.
And she fit the bill.
What started with little paper poems in secret notes suddenly started turning, evolving. Vicious escapades during breaks and lunches at work to fulfill the taste, the hunger for sin suddenly evolved into secret chats and unholy pleasures of the flesh.
Like I said before, this isn't one of my proudest moments.
I knew she was married, I knew she had kids. I didn't seem to care. We grew to learn more about each other, about our inner demons, and we thought we danced together just fine. That they got along and we even thought about how stupid the idea of being together in a relationship would be. Let alone to entertain the thought, so instead, we indulged. We did the dance, and when all was said and done, she had to resign from her job, co-workers never saw me the same way again, her husband left her, and she lost custody of her kids.
Now, I am not saying that I caused all this, the fact of the matter is that "we" caused this. It takes two to tango, and sometimes, the dance ends up in disaster.
After this, I realized she was more poison to my veins than wisdom to my heart.
We parted ways and I never heard from her again, for I am sure she wouldn't have wanted to share anyway.
For this one, I know, I'll pay dearly one day.