Meanwhile, allow me to introduce you to this Chapter. She could have been perfect for me, but perhaps she could have been the worst thing to happen to me, if I ever allowed her to get close.
And today I thank my inner self for not letting that happen.
"I like explosions, even if they are aimed at me," she wrote on her message. I knew at this moment that her inner demons would be great to play with mine.
If given the chance.
The only problem here was that her darkness did not match mine, in a way, I felt like her darkness was out of control, while mine was still being kept in check. I was still going through the transition of erasing all desire to drink alcoholic beverages from my system, to get rid of the desire of going to parties, the desire to be out of control.
I could not be that person again, and somehow, this Chapter would call out that part of me again, and if I let her get close, I knew that I would lose myself in my darkness, and I could not allow that to happen.
Except, it wasn't really me who stopped it.
My hero complex still wanted me to save her, to protect her from her self-destructive ways, to help rehabilitate her, in a way, but that other side of me wanted nothing further with her, He knew that if I let her in or got involved with her problems, that she would only end up bringing me down with her.
He could not accept that. He could not allow me to go down in flames.
So He protected me, and pushed her aside. Until one day, she was so bent-outta shape that perhaps she lost herself in her ways.
All I know is she stopped talking to me, but one thing is for sure, a woman in love with violence more than in love with the idea of being loved, well, she is sure not to get out of this world alive.
And no matter how much I wanted to save her, He knew she was doomed from the start. From the moment she told me she had a tendency to poke at psychotic people until they snapped.
She was lost in darkness.