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Chapter Thirty-Three: "Dark Fantasy"

9/8/2016

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If you look through my website, you'll find a short story I wrote entitled "Dark Fantasy," this Chapter was the inspiration for that story. And perhaps one day I will write it all out, but there is so much that needs to be in chronological order, and some of it that it's hard to remember, that the story will have to wait.

Meanwhile, allow me to introduce you to this Chapter. She could have been perfect for me, but perhaps she could have been the worst thing to happen to me, if I ever allowed her to get close.

And today I thank my inner self for not letting that happen.

"I like explosions, even if they are aimed at me," she wrote on her message. I knew at this moment that her inner demons would be great to play with mine.

If given the chance.

The only problem here was that her darkness did not match mine, in a way, I felt like her darkness was out of control, while mine was still being kept in check. I was still going through the transition of erasing all desire to drink alcoholic beverages from my system, to get rid of the desire of going to parties, the desire to be out of control.

I could not be that person again, and somehow, this Chapter would call out that part of me again, and if I let her get close, I knew that I would lose myself in my darkness, and I could not allow that to happen.

Except, it wasn't really me who stopped it.

My hero complex still wanted me to save her, to protect her from her self-destructive ways, to help rehabilitate her, in a way, but that other side of me wanted nothing further with her, He knew that if I let her in or got involved with her problems, that she would only end up bringing me down with her.

He could not accept that. He could not allow me to go down in flames.

So He protected me, and pushed her aside. Until one day, she was so bent-outta shape that perhaps she lost herself in her ways.

All I know is she stopped talking to me, but one thing is for sure, a woman in love with violence more than in love with the idea of being loved, well, she is sure not to get out of this world alive.

And no matter how much I wanted to save her, He knew she was doomed from the start. From the moment she told me she had a tendency to poke at psychotic people until they snapped.

She was lost in darkness.

​Forever.


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    Tortured God

    I have come to realize that along the endearing journey most people call life, I’ve met (and still am currently meeting) countless numbers of women that have left a huge impact in my life.

    Whether it was pure randomness or coincidence, or perhaps fate, that is up for you to decide.


    Certain events have occurred and certain consequences had been brought. I am not pointing fingers nor throwing out blame, but most of these Chapters haven't ended well.

    Some remain, some have completely left my life. Some are still around and some have yet to resurface.

    For every action there is an equal reaction, and when it comes to the women in my life, this is often the case.

    I have always had my best intentions in mind, but something that is recurrent is that my emotions tend to cloud my judgement and tend to get in the way of things.

    So let me start at the beginning, recollecting memories, thoughts, and remembering dreams of what happened once, what happened next, and what will continue to happen after.

    This is the story of The Women in My Life. The Companion blog to this is The Men in My Life, right below this tab.


    ​Without further ado, let me welcome you to my recollection of true events, true people, but most of all, just the plain and simple God-honest, blunt and painful Truth about my Chapters and I.

    Do not expect a happy ending to some, however...
    ​
    This isn’t a fairy-tale.

    ​This...is Truth's Chapters.

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