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Chapter Seventeen: "My Sweetheart"

6/14/2016

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Where to begin with this one? Well, that poor broken boy still in recovery met this angel through the fantastic world of IMVU, an online meta-verse website in which users created their own avatars to hide who they really were and meet other souls in search of something particular to an actual friendship.

He should have strayed away from this, for it was obvious that going deep into the internet, nothing good could come from it. But he chose to ignore it; ran into user "sweet_dreams" and her interests matched his. Or so he chose to believe.

Can not say that I blame him, however, at first, she seemed very honest--but behind a screen, everyone can be anyone, and sooner than later, the truth comes out and eats you alive.

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The problem here was that he allowed himself to fall for her hard and fast.

Fresh out of a relationship will do that to a person. One will start to want to cling onto the rebound mate, to feel that feeling once more. To avoid the loneliness and sadness of being adrift, lost and to feel forgotten.

What follows is that they start talking more and more until they end up exchanging numbers; despite being states away from each other and the possibility of never meeting face to face, they keep talking, keep sharing secrets and passions and start liking each other more--for the honesty, for the warmth in their voices.

Just listening to her voice on the other end of the line filled his heart, but something was missing.


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The fact that they could not see each other.

What seemed like a perfect teenage dream, one as old as time--somewhat an alternate version of Romeo and Juliet--in which both lovers found each other when they were not supposed to, and chose to feel something for each other when they were not allowed to... This was not meant to be...but rather forced to be.

Secrets started to flourish behind the screens; he became suspicious of the fact that she could not--would not choose to show herself to him. More layers of lies started forming; despite him opening up to her more she kept hiding something from him, but he did not know what.

What was harder? Believing that she did that to you? Or that you did it to yourself? Can you answer me that question?

She hid herself from you! She lied and lied to protect who she really was! Why? Because she did not think you would like her for who she truly was? Because she was self-conscious? Did she remind you of yourself? Is that why you chose to forgive her? Thinking that even after you had told her how you have been played before that she playing you was a simple mistake? Not on purpose? Well now you know why I did what I did. Why I pushed her away, why I told her to leave you be. Why I had to destroy that "relationship!"

A "relationship" that was a pathetic attempt at getting you to fall for her; to feed into her lies, to want to drive over to see her only to what? Be shut down at the idea of meeting? Why would you even think that was a possibility? Because it wasn't. That is what happened.

Because *this* was never meant to happen.

This is what happens when you force something that is not meant to happen.

Chaos reigns.

And all you have from her now is disappointment. Both in her, and yourself.

Think on that next time you want to try to find her to apologize.

​You disappoint me.


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    Tortured Poet

    I have come to realize that along the endearing journey most people call life, I’ve met (and still am currently meeting) countless numbers of women. However, as sad as this might sound, I haven’t exactly been the nicest guy to most, if not many of them.

    It is not because of my actions during the timeframe when I met them, but mostly it is because of the consequences.

    For every action there is an equal or worse reaction, and when it comes to the women in my life, this is often the case.

    I have always had my best intentions in mind, but something that is recurrent is that my emotions tend to cloud my judgement and tend to get in the way of things.

    So let me start at the beginning, recollecting memories, thoughts, and remembering dreams of what happened once, what happened next, and what will continue to happen after.

    ​Welcome to my recollection of true events, true people, but most of all, just the plain and simple God-honest, blunt and painful truth about my Chapters and I.

    Don’t expect a happy ending.
    ​
    This isn’t a fairy-tale.

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