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Chapter Nine: "A Buddy"

5/27/2016

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Picture
Denver wasn't done with me yet. Not by a long shot. Entering a new college, knowing no one reminded me of when I first moved to Wyoming. It was like high school all over again. I sat alone at a table in the cafeteria, trying to fill that void by stuffing my face with food. It was lunch hour at the Regency student housing. I sat there--alone. A few minutes passed and all of a sudden, I overheard someone behind me asking me if anyone was sitting at the table with me. At first sight, I thought nothing of it. I remember I didn't even look her in the eye when I responded, "no, just me." I had been minding my own business, eating alone at a table when she approached me. She sat next to me, which kind of made me nervous, but also helped avoid eye contact. Off my peripheral I could study her features; she had her hair in a ponytail, was wearing what looked like gym clothes, and looked like she had just worked out. We made small talk, I almost didn't pay attention to her, for I was too focused on wanting to be alone again. I remember she told me her name and had said she went to a school somewhere in Aurora and just gotten out of softball practice.

​Small little details is all I have from her now. After small talk was done, she stood up, punched me on the shoulder and smiled, leaving saying she hoped to see me again. The next time I saw her, I barely recognized her; I realized then that the first time I wasn't concerned on paying attention to her because of how she looked. The second time I saw her it seemed like she was a completely different person. A simple punch to my shoulder startled me, but that wasn’t the only thing that startled me because as I turned around to see who punched me, I realized she was standing there, green top, her hair straightened down, her eyes a lot clearer than before, and a smile that took me by surprise. She said my name and asked how I was. Unbeknownst to her, I was not okay, not in the slightest. But that didn't matter, so I didn't tell her. I smiled back and chatted a bit before someone from two tables over called her over. She punched me on the shoulder again, said goodbye, and walked away. This was one of those slow-motion moments again; I stood there transfixed by her appearance as I saw her walk over to the table, sit down and laugh at their jokes. To this day I still struggle to understand the reason why she walked into my life, only to disappear so suddenly, and never to be heard from again. No matter how hard I looked for her, I never found her.

All I had was a first name...that got me nowhere.

She was definitely, the one that got away. The major "what if?" The question that I'll never know the answer to.


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    Tortured Poet

    I have come to realize that along the endearing journey most people call life, I’ve met (and still am currently meeting) countless numbers of women. However, as sad as this might sound, I haven’t exactly been the nicest guy to most, if not many of them.

    It is not because of my actions during the timeframe when I met them, but mostly it is because of the consequences.

    For every action there is an equal or worse reaction, and when it comes to the women in my life, this is often the case.

    I have always had my best intentions in mind, but something that is recurrent is that my emotions tend to cloud my judgement and tend to get in the way of things.

    So let me start at the beginning, recollecting memories, thoughts, and remembering dreams of what happened once, what happened next, and what will continue to happen after.

    ​Welcome to my recollection of true events, true people, but most of all, just the plain and simple God-honest, blunt and painful truth about my Chapters and I.

    Don’t expect a happy ending.
    ​
    This isn’t a fairy-tale.

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