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Chapter Five: "Dangerous Game"

5/12/2016

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Your first kiss: you really have no clue of what you are doing. During that same school year as mentioned on the previous chapter, I had met another girl, one that kept my mind at bay, held me back from the worry that the heartbreak with the girl before her had caused. I had met her through a friend, one that I held dear, because he understood me, and always cared about me more than anyone else in that school did.

It wasn’t fair what I did to him, because I knew that he liked her, and instead of backing off, I chose to proceed, and eventually caused her to fall for me, while I “fell” for her. I was stuck in a triangle which I wanted to escape from, and yet, chose to stay in.

She was nice to both of us, and to this day I never really knew or understood to which of us two her heart really belonged to. I had grown to like her even more as we had our small guitar lessons hidden by the music hall, exchanging guitar picks by using our lips.

I was seventeen when I had my first kiss. I kissed her lips and felt something that I thought was mine. It was something that belonged to me, despite the fact that it had been stolen. At the time I didn’t care because yet again, I let my feelings get in the way.

You see, I had turn this scenario into a cycle; a cycle that became a nightmare and a sad addiction. During the kisses and sweet happy days of me and this girl, I hurt my best friend and turned him against me. Not only that, but eventually I broke the triangle that had seem to be part of our friendship, eventually destroying any friendship and completely obliterating any trust that we had for one another.

We all parted ways and the storm brewed on the horizon once more, as I started to realize that this first "Love Triangle" would only be the first of many.

History was about to repeat itself.

​And history is never pretty.


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    Tortured Poet

    I have come to realize that along the endearing journey most people call life, I’ve met (and still am currently meeting) countless numbers of women. However, as sad as this might sound, I haven’t exactly been the nicest guy to most, if not many of them.

    It is not because of my actions during the timeframe when I met them, but mostly it is because of the consequences.

    For every action there is an equal or worse reaction, and when it comes to the women in my life, this is often the case.

    I have always had my best intentions in mind, but something that is recurrent is that my emotions tend to cloud my judgement and tend to get in the way of things.

    So let me start at the beginning, recollecting memories, thoughts, and remembering dreams of what happened once, what happened next, and what will continue to happen after.

    ​Welcome to my recollection of true events, true people, but most of all, just the plain and simple God-honest, blunt and painful truth about my Chapters and I.

    Don’t expect a happy ending.
    ​
    This isn’t a fairy-tale.

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