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Chapter Fifty-Two: "Fireball"

10/17/2016

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Picture
There is a lot that goes on with me that for the naked eye, one might miss it. Especially if I do not want anyone to see it, nor hear it, nor understand it.

I was never one to leave things unfinished, and I feel like this Chapter was.

"So quick to retort, Fireball, you reached out to every joke thrown your way, but when I see you, I hear you, I listen to you, but you do not see me, and if you hear, you do not *listen* to me.

Not yet, but you will."

He had left those words written down on this draft.
And at first I thought was because He had stopped writing Chapters. He had come to a close. But I see now that He went yet again and wrote two more. But I will just take it upon myself and write them myself. 

A lot has occured in what seemed like months, but is actually just weeks. What I cannot understand is why He does certain things. And I am starting to just let it happen. I cannot fight it anymore. I am tired.

But I am veering off, so let me catch myself again.

I believe perhaps we started on the wrong foot; I do not know how to explain myself, because you are still a fresh Chapter.

And look, recently, I've made mistakes, and I have come aware of how much of an asshole I can be.

I do not intend to.

I just want you to know, I can see there's good in you. Now, I don't know why Chapters are created, or why they run into my life.

But I know everything has a reason.

And with time, perhaps one day everything will make sense to me.

If I ever hurt you, I apologize.

I've hurt a lot of Chapters recently.

I am just trying to catch up to Him.

​And it's hard.


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    Tortured Poet

    I have come to realize that along the endearing journey most people call life, I’ve met (and still am currently meeting) countless numbers of women. However, as sad as this might sound, I haven’t exactly been the nicest guy to most, if not many of them.

    It is not because of my actions during the timeframe when I met them, but mostly it is because of the consequences.

    For every action there is an equal or worse reaction, and when it comes to the women in my life, this is often the case.

    I have always had my best intentions in mind, but something that is recurrent is that my emotions tend to cloud my judgement and tend to get in the way of things.

    So let me start at the beginning, recollecting memories, thoughts, and remembering dreams of what happened once, what happened next, and what will continue to happen after.

    ​Welcome to my recollection of true events, true people, but most of all, just the plain and simple God-honest, blunt and painful truth about my Chapters and I.

    Don’t expect a happy ending.
    ​
    This isn’t a fairy-tale.

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