Random Thoughts - The Men In My Life

Episode Thirty-Two: Eight Ball

2/7/2026

Just a geek this way,
Walking paths of code and thought,
Wrapped in shades of purple dreams,
Where midnight ideas are caught.
Mind sharp as a shark in motion,
Cutting clean through tides of doubt,
Silent strength beneath the waves,
Knowing what I’m all about.

Purple skies and neon screens,
Logic dancing with a spark,
A thinker swimming far ahead--
Part poet, geek, and shark.

Purple pulses pop and play,
Pixels prance the geeky way,
Thinking thick, thoughts tightly tied,
Sharper than a shark that glides.

Shark‑slick smarts slice sudden sparks,
Circling circles, leaving marks,
Purple power, deep and dark,
Geeky grin, relentless shark.

Episode Thirty-One: Tanuki, The Immovable Guardian.

10/12/2023

One, Two, Three,
She Came One Night Crying To Me,
Long Time No See.

The Slasher Hunter,
Privy To Information,
Welcoming You To Our Collective Nation.

Been Eons Since I Last Remember,
Who Was It I Made Our Latest Member?
Member To Our Club,
Accept This VIP Pass,
Buckle Up.

We Are Just Getting Started,
You'll See--
There Is A Lot To Learn,
Between You And Me.

Do You Believe In Fate,
Predetermination,
Predestination,
That Everything Happens For A Reason?

Perhaps We Met At The Correct Season.

Season Of The Witch--
You've Already Met The "Boss Ass B*tch."

And As Time Moves Forward,
As Time Inevitably Does--
Will You Become A Warrior,
Harness That Pain Beneath You,
As Strength Not Loss.

Like The Immovable Tanuki,
Shapeshifter Of The Gods,
Comical Trickster,
With A Heart Of Gold,
Always Smiling,
Always Bold.

Gods Aren't Born,
They're Made,
Welcome To The Aether,
Hope You Enjoy Your Stay,
I See A Fire Inside You,
Burning And Molding--
From The Finest China Clay.

I Don't Pick At Random,
And I'm Sure You Already Know,
I Cannot Lie,
So Let Your Inner God
Glow.

Episode Thirty: Calypso, The God Of The Deep

10/12/2022

Truth:

Am I The Only God I Know?
Waging Z's Wars Behind These Eyes?
And Choking On Our Throat?

The Others Will Scream That I Am Alone (lone, lone),
I-I-I've Got A Migraine,
And This Pain Will Never Cease,
Down Up And Many Ways,
Thank Me It's Wednesday!

Because Tuesdays Will Always
Be Crappier Than Mondays,
Because Thursdays Are Our F*ck It Days,
I Don't Get Why They--

Cass:

Always seem so hopeless?
Thunder, fuck--pain and cold,
no slight "drizzle"
Wether it's the people
or the fuckheads leaving carts,
Sometimes quitting seems better,
than this migraine in Brock's head.

Truth:

Let It Be Spelled What This Migraine Represents,
It's Watching The Front End In Suspense,
It's Us Suspended In A Crappy Day,
Day That Tests Like In An Old God Seminar,
That's Been Shown Best By My Depress-------ing Thoughts,
Z Does Not Have Writer's Block,
Just Want Him To Be Happy--Brock.

Z:

T won't let me sleep,
Like Cass said, sleep when We're dead,
and some days death seems better,
than the sinus headache in Our head.

Truth & Cass:

Are We The Only One We Know?

T, you're waging wars behind this face,
and soon cutting throat,
Friends keep telling you, you ain't alone.

Somehow We've Made It This Far, Cassandra.
Indeed, Yes, Yes,
A God Still Bleeds, Pardon,
Me For Screaming, Cassandra Yelling, No Simple Eden's Garden,
Switches Not What They Once Seemed,
We're A Different Scheme,
A More Broken Beast Feeding On Attention, It Seems.
Freeze, Brock,
Can You Paint Me A Mental Picture Portrait?
Something It Won't Be Left?

It's like a tattoo by your shoulder,
and how it's the door that,
takes you back,
that make Pandora's box nonsensical,

Look, We're Non-Violent,
Despite What You Hear Behind Our Eyelids,
This Mind? Shipwrecked.

You're family in a land Our mind could not find,
We didn't realize how painful it'd be,
full of suicidal waves,
murderous hungry lions
none to eat you
tears running down their skin,
and We know that We can't fight,
if We do then the Lie(on) wins,

We Begin To Get Together,
With Family I Can Find,
Because Sometimes To Survive,
You Got To Silence Your Mind!

Are You Another One That Knows?
Seeing Our Wars Behind This Face?

And above this throat?
You keep telling Us We're not alone,
"You keep fighting this long," You said,
Yeah, yeah, yessss,
then We will say that--

We Should Take A Day To Sleep Away,
Escape From The Pain J Has Made,
This Family Is Not Alone, No...

And then I tell T that,
He should take a moment,
and look--don't stay frozen,
and know that strife
has a sharing undertone,
and then You say that,
We should start to delegate,
skip all the pain that isn't shared,
this Front End ain't run alone...

And I Will See Then,
We Took A Moment
And Held It, We Listened,
And Brock Knows That--

Life Is Hopeful Underneath,
He Is The One That Knows,

Stop Waging Wars Inside This Face And Above This Throat!

No Longer Want To Scream That We're Alone,
Calypso Has Taught Us To Stay Strong, Indeed,
We've Made It This Far.

We'll Make It Through This...

Family.

Episode Twenty-Nine: White Tiger

11/20/2018

Tyger Tyger, Walking Upright,
In The City At This Night,
What Mortal Eyes Lay Sight?
Dare They Speak Of Your Symmetry?

In Those Distant Scars And Flies,
Doth Thee Smile Burn Alive?
Oh What Suit Wears You As Attire?
What Fresh Hell, Awaits To Transpire?

And What Sibling, And What Lie,
Could Rip You From The Inside, Apart?
And When You Finally Have Her Heart,
And She Has Yours To Keep,
What Dread Brought, What Dread Breed?

What Poison, What Cage?
In Your Chest, It Kills Your Brain?
What Beast, Watch Their Grasp,
Dare You Follow Its Task?

Then The Gods Spoke Too Quick,
And What Heaven Or Hell Speak?
Do They Leave You Untouched To Live?
Or Will He Who Made The Lamb, Kill Thee?

Episode Twenty-Eight: "Vulture"

8/24/2018

Cleansing,
Renewal,
Transformation.

Venting,
Approval,
Collision.

Royal,
Throne,
Home.

Loyal,
Known,
Rome.

Teaching,
Preaching,
Screaming.

Feeding,
Leading,
Weaving.

Feast with words nonchalantly,
exchange of swords bluntly,
call ahead promptly.

Rules enforced furiously,
ruling shown notoriously,
challenge given vigorously.

Course met obstacles given,
tests done but not forgiven.

Moment of truth presented,
shattered team disoriented.

Changes forced represented,
loner wolf lamented.

Games ended shown true face,
say goodbye to each other,
enter a new place.

Lessons learned not forgotten,
to each welcome a new hell,
or heaven soon rotten.

Elder king departed,
alone once again,
home now uncharted.

Final move murder of crows,
watch from above, Vulture,
as the last king is disposed.

Episode Twenty-Seven: "Cheetah"

8/21/2018

Searching, looking,
a reminder,
of another time,
welcome The Originals,
the sublime.

You trained us,
introduced us,
to that world of hell,
where we would fight to sell--
sell each other as the better brother,
but then we always fought each other,
missing what was undercover.

Inside you lied dormant:
a hunger,
a passion,
you had your own fashion--
your own flair.

You could be trusted,
were never maladjusted.

You joked around,
made the house safe,
an environment of men.

Z and T knew you,
I barely just began to learn you,
but I knew the drive you had,
was something I had lacked.

In a world of pain and stress,
you were always calm,
you showed a premise of success.

But then we cut you out,
like all the others,
it was unfair,
forgive my brothers.

Cheetah,
keep chasing your dreams,
run to your goals,
you have the means.

Produce
a beautiful picture,
so many others can chase your example,
you always inspired us,
to master what you cannot handle.

Episode Twenty-Six: "Coyote"

9/27/2017

No Matter The Pain,
Or However Long The Strain,
There Was Something In My Brain,
Told Me About You,
To Abstain.

T Had Spoken About You,
But I Never Understood Why You Weren't Already,
A Warrior In Hand,
Was It Too Many?

Saw You From Afar,
Always Distant,
But Always Creating Music,
That Guitar!

I Kept My Distance, I Did,
I Didn't Know How Much You Knew,
Or Cared,
But At Work You Always Said Hi,
Never Frowned,
Could I Share?

You Know How Rumors Spread,
That Hellhole We Shared,
Trapped--
Beware!

Like Caged Animals We Were,
And That's How I Understood,
You Kept Distance,
You Were Aware.

Time Passed,
And I Involved Myself In War,
Hurt My Brothers,
It Didn't Last,
I Always Came Out Charred,
It Wasn't That I Ignored You,
I Just Lost Myself In My Own Pain,
But Maybe That Was For The Best For You,
To Be Spared.

Because After Our Late Night Talk,
I Did Promise To Have Your Back,
That Hasn't Changed,
And I Know You're Moving On,
Escape That Hellhole,
Go On!

And Always Listen Only,
To Your Own Soundtrack.

Episode Twenty-Five: "Panda"

9/27/2017

What's Coming This Way?
Something Black And White, I'll Say.

But Despite The Outside Look,
Inside Many More Colors,
Someone To Be Understood.

Sure, Looking Cute And Cuddly,
Don't Forget,
Panda Is Ferocious
And Bubbly.

But Then I Heard That T Didn't Have Him At The Party,

Was It Because Of The Elder God?
Oh Mighty!

Trying To Understand The Plot,
I Only Wished To Show You Who Is Rot.

For I Am Not Liked, I Know,
Hard To Like A Guy With That Name,
But Forget Me Not.

Because The Tides Are Changing,
And Much More To Be Rearranging,
T's Recruitment Is Over,
I Only Wish To Enjoy This Passover.

But I See Your Pain,
And I Understand The Strain,
That Is Why You'll Remain.

Never Forget, You Have Friends,
Some Odds And Ends,
Some Still Trying To Make Amends,
But Here We Approach The End,
Goodbye Episodes And Chapters,
To Move Is Forward, Not Backwards.

Episode Twenty-Four: "The Bat"

9/27/2017

Fly Above,
High In The Sky,
But Welcoming Darkness,
That's Who You Are.

From The Earliest I Recall,
T Had Been Thinking Of You,
As One Of Us,
All You Needed Was The Call,
As The Bat In The Night,
Your Sonar Radar,
Bark And Bite,
You Kept Your Heart In A Jar.

A Tall Building-Of-A-Man,
You Would Join The Clan,
For You Had Shown Z One Night Of Weakness,
That Venomous Uniqueness.

Had History Prior To Me,
Had Met The Wild Child And The Fireball,
I've Only Ever Heard Stories From The Main Three,
But What We Shared,
Is You Enjoyed Alcohol.

So Time Came Around,
And You Got Your Medal,
Welcome To Our World,
Half God Half Devil.

And Then I Preoccupied Myself With War,
I, Too, Was Trying To Soar.

But At Work You Were A Constant,
Never Left Like So Many Others,
Stuck To That Hellhole,
But You Missed Our Concept,
And Never Met My Brothers.

The Reasoning Was Not Because T Chose You,
But Because I Had Already Lost Myself,
Trying To Be King,
Should Have Never Touched The Books On The Bookshelf.

And So There Came That Night When We Hung Outside Of Work,
I Thought I Could Reveal My True Self,
Then Realized It Was Better Off A Different Way,
Leave It At Question Mark,
Let You Ask It Yourself,
And Avoid Having You Carry More Weight.

Episode Twenty-Three: "Wolf"

9/27/2017

Say It Once,
Say It Twice,
Three Times,
Welcome To T-Time.

I Never Met You, Never Had The Chance,
You Were Already Gone,
Was Just Given Your Story In Advance.

But Never Really Got Much To Say,
It Seems You Joined The Party,
Among Friends.

Then I Heard How You Understood Pain,
Was That T's Game?

Gather Around A Flock Of Broken Souls,
Everyone To Learn His Goal?

I Always Wondered If He Was Just Hungry,
Hungry Like The Wolf.
Feeding His Appetite For Power,
Thirst So Sour,
Did He Forget Our Flower?

But I Am No Saint, Either,
Followed In My Master's Steps,
Hired My Own,
Trying To Be A Czar,
Julius Caesar!

So When I Kept Hearing About T's Party,
And How Wolf Was Recruited,
A Part Of Me Wanted An Army.

But Wolf Never Came Back,
He Moved On,
A Much Different Scene,
Life,
And Strife.

And Although He Never Fully Understood,
Your Episode Is Written,
For Strength Comes In Numbers,
I Only Hope Not To Be Misunderstood,
Because Recruiting More,
Forbidden,
And Like Certain Others,
Wolf Was Spared,
From Knowing My Brothers.

Warrior

Years Ago A Realization Was Set Upon Me: Enduring This Life, One Walks Into Many Individuals. And Then You Never Stop Running Into Them.

You've Met The Women In My Life; Welcome Now The Men In My Life.

Friends, Brothers, Enemies.

Let's Take A Few Steps Back In Time, As Far As Memory Allows It.

Walk Through The Door With Me.

What Follows Is A Collection Of Truths About Those Influential Individuals.

Do Not Expect To Find Comfort, But Rely On Hope.

This Is Not A Fable.

This Is Truth.

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