Random Thoughts - First Born

Le Vrai Méchant

3/5/2021

Months Ago In The Aether

Do you remember me...
Brother?

Où suis-je?
Qui es-tu?

I am your captor.
You are my slave.
Do you remember your name?

Mon nom?
Qui suis je?
S'il vous plaît dites-moi.

You are a joke.
A piece of lint bothering me inside the pockets of my skirt.
You are nothing.

Je ne suis rien?
Personne?
Qui es-tu? A part un ravisseur?

Inside
Thousand Of Years Later

I won't ask again after this...
Where. Is. Roman.
Where is my brother!!!!

Frère? Je ne sais męme pas qui tu es.

You know exactly who I am. What you did to me. What you did to Truth.

Que pourriez-vous m'offrir en retour?

What do you want?

La Vérité.

What's keeping you from ruining everything again?

Hehehe. Vous l'êtes, soeur. Regarde toi. Toute cette puissance.

Does it scare you, J?

Est-ce que ça me fait peur? Je n'ai pas peur. J'incarne la peur. Avons-nous un accord?

The Truth... he's yours.

A Day In The Life Of Cassandra Hack

3/25/2020

Years Ago

"I'm sorry... I'm what?" I asked the man wearing the burgundy three-piece suit. He had eyes that when he looked at you, you knew immediately all he hid behind those eyes was turmoil. Pain-- yet somehow it did not bother him. It drove him. It made him who he was.

"You Are Part Of The Whole, Love." He said to me; his expression non-changing.

"*Love*? I don't do pet names, fucker. What do you know of *love* anyway?" I asked angrily.

"I Know Love Is An Emotion. One That Humans Hold On To Too Closely-- To Somehow Find True Happiness In Their Heart. To Achieve Self-Actualization. That Somehow, Humans Feel That Once You Profess Your *Love* To Someone, That They Will Stay With You Together Forever. A Real Nice Comic Book Cliche."

"Co-comic book? Can you show me?" I was intrigued, I'm not gonna fucking lie.

"Do You Have A Favorite One? Allow Me To Show You. Hm. Look At You--No, This Will Not Do At All. You Need A Persona. I Can Feel The Others Are Going To Hate You When They Meet You." He was so fucking serious. His facial expressions unchanging--I'm not gonna lie---um, again, he scared the piss outta me.

"Do you have a name at least? What do I fucking call you?" His eyes were fucking hypnotizing.

"My Name... Ha Ha. My Name Is Truth, Darling. Pleased To Meet You. Welcome To The Aether."

"What kind of fucking dumb-ass name is Truth??? Christ."

************************************** The Beginning ***************************************

Years Later.

"HURR HURR, CASSANDRA, YOU NEED TO TAKE A BREAK SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW... OR YOU WILL PASS OUT."

My partner, Vlad, man, what a stubborn man-- But, he was right.

"Okay, Vlad, let's just find a rest stop and I'll catch some shuteye."

************ In The Aether *************

"The *Vlad* persona-- Hm. Nice touch."

"I Had To Choose Something, Brother. Something To Keep Her In Line."

"I know, Truth. I know. Just make sure she never remembers."

"I Do Not Make Mistakes. Cassandra Will Remain As Cassandra Hack. As Long As I Need Her To Be."

"Tu ferais mieux d'avoir raison. Ou la fin viendra pour nous tous."

********************************************Years Later***************************************************

"Do You Recall Your Name?" The burgundy god asked, seriously.

"The fuck you mean?"

"Your Name."

"Remind me."

"Does Not Matter. Let Me Show You Something. Or Rather---Someone. Someone You Can Use."

"Use? For what?"

"To Cut Yourself Into Three. Three Pieces Full, Full Pieces See. Three From Hell, Make You Free."

"Huh?"

"Take My Hand. Do You Trust Me?"

*Hesitantly I did, I'm not gonna lie...he was very persistent.*

"Show me-- can you show me?"

"I'll Do You One Better. I'll Teach You How To Ascend. How To Become A God. Like Me."

********************Colores, Siempre Mira Nuestros Colores****************************

Labors Of Man

9/27/2018

My Fire My Dear,
My Rage, My Fear,
Can Our Future Be More Clear?

See, Do You?
Where's Samael,
So Blue.

Stole The Torture Papers,
That's True.

Need Those Back,
The End Is Written In Black.

Follow The Labors Of Man,
That Is The Plan,
To Witness An End To Monsters,
Witness The Rise Of Heroes,
What's On The Roster?

Unleash the bull-man on the next capture,
hope to hell he doesn't fracture.

Small Distinction For Precision,
Just A Matter Of Time Until He Joins The Incision.

Well he is formidable,
a force to reckon,
good thing he's ours now,
time to teach Samael a lesson.

Let's Rage, Brother,
Let's Catch Us Another.

Lady And Gentlemen.

9/19/2018

Dearest Of Gods,
Prey Do Tell,
Tell Me A Secret As You Say Farewell,
Here Inside I Remember,
Whilst Being Told To Freeze Til December,
He Holds My Hand,
As We Turn Inside Out This Clock Of Sand.

Brethren, Here We Sit,
Speak And Discuss,
He Must!

A Challenge Forward,
Unto The Gods,
One Must Take A Step Too Careful,
Do Not Fight Your Odds.

There Come The War Dogs.

Meanest Of Monsters,
Do Me Well,
Listen Carefully,
Or Burn In Hell,
Outside Do Dismember,
Or Freeze For Long Before December,
Take My Hand,
Let's Waste His Clock Of Sand.

Monsters, Please Be Still,
Gluttony And Pride, Lust,
Disgust!

A Hunt Forward,
Unto More Monsters,
One Must Tread Carefully,
Or Perish Immediately.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Violent Of Violence,
See Him Swell,
But Speak Methodically,
Or Stay In A Cell,
Become Our Member,
Or Stay A Contender,
Here's The Key,
Now Turn The Clock, Or Let It Be.

Animals, Chained And Sealed,
Try And Escape,
And Rust!

A Party Ahead,
Unto The Park,
Pick Them Ironically,
Or Burn Apart.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Darkest Of Magic,
Secrets Don't Tell,
Whisper Continuously,
But Do Not Dwell,
Real World Return To Sender,
Fire To Ember,
Take This Pen,
Write My Epitaph In Zen.

Secrets, Run Of The Mill,
But Be Just,
Or Break My Trust.

A Collection Ahead,
Window Shopping,
Pick Them Colorfully,
Zero To Opting.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Biggest Of Hunters,
What Do You Sell?
A Rotten Corpse?
Does It Smell?
Keep It Packaged,
Save It From Further Damage.

Take This Coin,
Let's Ring His Bell Of Lunch.

Hunt, Here Ahead,
Reload The Lead.

All Lives End,
Front Toward Enemy,
Letter To Send,
Burn Chemically.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Craziest Of Patients,
Story To Tell?
Whisper Methodically,
Oh Well.
Out From About, September?
Remember Remember.
And?
Time In Land.

Others, Stand Don't Tilt,
Hunger And Appetite,
Welcome My Night!

Theory Ahead,
Philosophy Or Dead!
Notepad In Theory,
Pass Me The Wine,
Oh Deary.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Wildest Of Children,
Hidden In My Shell,
Reap Him Cheerily,
To Satisfy Him Well,
Muscles So Tender,
Do Not Dare Surrender,
Take This Token,
Press Play.

Wonderful, Run Amok,
Medicine And Therapy,
Such Luck!

A Fairy Tale Ahead,
Sing Me A Lullaby,
Play Dead!
Or I'll Be Fed.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Brightest Of Colors,
Burn Red,
Mind Your Tongue,
So He Said,
Out In The World My Lender,
Bend Her,
Take This Limb,
Your Future Is Grim.

Warriors, Chill,
Like Frozen Corpses,
Careful! Broken Synapses.

A Surgery To Witness,
Oh Beautiful Grimace,
Burn Away,
This Sickness.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Darkest Of Nights,
Ring Your Bell,
Here In Rage, Magenta,
You Were Never In The Placenta,
Out In Sight,
You Are Not Bright,
Take This Bat,
Hard Hat.

Sisters Prey Together,
Sing Along His Weather!

A Manslaughter In Front,
What A Runt,
So Hide Away,
And Pray.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Wildest of X's,
A Spot To Hell,
A Burning Body,
Farewell.
Outside In Prison,
No Way To Reason,
So Take The Road,
Less Traveled,
And Unravel.

Demons, Dance Free,
Read Your Cards,
In Threes.

A Chain Towards,
Or Forward?
Burn Baby,
Savvy.

Here Come The War Dogs.

Bluest Of Skies,
Oh Sell!
Me Another,
Smile Do Tell?
In World, Together?
Or Burn And Melt?
Take His Face,
Wear It.

Brothers? Please.
Jokers? Oh Seed!
Plant More Pranks,
Outdo Their Ranks!

A Mess For You,
Oh Blue.
Leave.
That's Your Pet Peeve.

Here Come The War Dogs.

I was fucking late, but I arrived

10/9/2017

Had I fucking known more,
had I not be kept in the dark,
fuck, man, like I would have been back,
back to hack.

Hack and slash, that's my game,
fuck, man, like, it's even in my name...

But nope, I was fucking late...
late, but I arrived.

Looks like you boys are now in trouble,
much to fix, yeah, I speak about your fucking selves.

Then I was told about all those chics,
causing trouble,
some being total pricks.

Ya, well, I should have fucking known,
haven't we been down this road before?

But like, I'll fucking protect you,
you see, that will never change,
I'll tear a bitch's throat,
that I swear.

Then I heard you fell in love,
who's this woman?
Must I know?

Holy fuck, should I duck?
What's that noise then,
would you carefully explain it to me, then?

What do you mean WAR? Are you fucking high? Damn it, Happy, tell me right!

Yeah, fuck, I guess I understand. Time for therapy, seems we're Khaki tanned.

Reference thrown amidst,
"welcome, welcome home, sis."

So ya, I met the Queen,
that woman, woman in between.

The laugh, and the smirk,
I wasn't ready, ready to be part of her quirks.

Boys, fucking boys,
why would you bring another one,
another woman into your world...?

Doc, is it time,
time for therapy?

Fuck me, what's my warranty?

Ya, I get it, fucking A,
fucking O, it's much easier,
and Q,
she's got a French tickler,
she ain't so similar.

So pay attention,
that Queen,
she's our intervention.

Do I have bad days,
yes,
do I have field days,
fuck.

Feels of powerlessness,
god fucking shit,
I am nothing amidst goddesses.

Yes I've hurt myself,
but none like before,
scars and memories,
now we're not alone.

So let's go ahead,
and enter therapy,
line us up, Doc,
welcome security.

No longer hidden,
that's what I fucking call vision.

Rotten

6/30/2017

Lay
Down
King
Rotten
Fight
Dear
Protect
Fading
Become
War
Fear
Mercy
Brother
Black
Armor
Far

Blunt Little Instrument

6/6/2017

Old pictures lay,
damn this bedside manner cafe,
now only more noise,
chaos in this bed,
it's like blood has been spread.

Used to be strong, a warrior,
a king,
been stuck in a hole,
much more has been missing,
I told Happy, but he is not listening!

I'm sorry, I never meant for this to happen!
Please believe me, brother, please...
I'm sorry, I need you,
I need my Jekyll,
I need my Bruce Banner,
my Peter Parker,
you're my ladder...

I could never be like you,
shame on me for thinking so,
I am but a blunt little instrument,
aimed at things you thought you could not face,
you could not beat,
but brother please! Come back to me!

I need you here,
and so does our dear,
our Queen,
our Love.

Please, I'm a mess,
I was never a King in chess,
I cannot embrace more rest,
there is much to process.

So come back, embrace me,
brother please,
aim at me.

I can take it,
the others cannot,
the others...
they will Rot.

Back in the beginning,
freedom wasn't free,
it was a choice,
given by the Three.

He who held the Keys, held the power,
but now that's shifted,
the Seats are now restricted,
and he who would Rot,
War-- he's brought.

I used to be the one that was cold,
calculated, numb,
you used to feel things, care,
and after it all broke,
took that poison again,
you changed,
but so did I,
a Queen awoke something,
and now I feel everything,
but I cannot speak for you as well,
because now you got dragged into the Doc's hell.

I await here now, hoping for your recovery,
it's been a while since I last heard the song of funny,
I must find him quickly,
I am afraid he's hurt,
disappeared, in need of support.

And I want to go in, I know I cannot,
to bother the Doc's process,
would be worse than to rot,
to have everything, repressed,
and left forever-- a mess.

But now all I hear is pain, and songs of revenge,
wishing I could ascend,
all I could do was repent,
as all he could do was torment.

Stuck in here, burning up again,
hearing his laugh about his new reign.

And once more we enter War,
not something of choice, but fate,
perhaps I deserve this as I did once before,
so he continues laughing, as he sedates.

I wish I could hear his singing once more,
it is quiet in here, despite my noise,
all I hear now is his roar,
as tar drips down from his mouth,
and he continues to poke with his toys,
I'll find my way out, I'll find my boys.

No matter how hard it gets,
no matter how much it hurts,
keep grinding me to bits,
show me, do your worst.

Do not forget, once a student,
could not outdo your teacher,
so go ahead, my nuisance,
you are a poor man's reaper.

Once I get loose,
I will tighten your noose,
you wanted war, now pray for mercy,
you'll fall firstly.

You plan big things, I hear,
but they are not near,
and once I prove you wrong,
you will see who really is strong.

I will find a way to starve you again,
you think you can make me bleed?

Things are different now, I know,
many scattered in sorrow,
some forgotten, most remember,
the beginning and Denver.

And now it's harder, with all set free,
even though some disagree,
there remains still, seats, Three,
and you're dividing us all in teams.

All you will do is rot away,
stick us in a box to decay,
so I don't want to close my eyes,
I know soon you'll see through the disguise,
but until then I will try and fix this,
try and fight,
because what scares me the most,
despite I say I fear nothing in this rat race,
is that when I sleep,
somebody else might take my place.

The one constant thing that keeps me going,
that keeps me fighting,
besides bringing my brother back,
is that she makes me bounce back.

I fell in love when love was all I hated,
I believe we were fated
to be together,
and I'll fight with her come what ever.

Distance will never tear us apart,
so rip me, burn me, do what you may,
until the end of all things,
as long as I'm with her,
I'll never decay.

But if you push me,
you make me choose,
I want you to know you'll lose.

If I have to protect her and take you down with me,
I won't hesitate,
I accept that fate,
and I will put you in checkmate.

She is worth immensely,
the cure-all intensely,
and I will do anything to keep her,
there is nothing I wouldn't do,
I will find my way back to her,
and when I do,
just remember I warned you.

I know what I did,
to you and the others,
it was the only way,
he was just a kid,
we were brothers,
we used to play,
but now we do nothing but slay
ourselves against each other,
we were thirteen, remember, brother?

What have we become?
We are enemies, when we can be friends,
I don't expect forgiveness for what I've done,
but please, R(oman), let's join the sun,
hold my hand, I reach out to you for peace,
let the fire cease...

We are stronger together, than apart,
listen, you're smart,
feel this heart.

We can start over,
take my hand,
stay together, and stand
next to me and the rest,
this body is the board of chess,
don't let the past destroy it,
please, let me show you,
and together again we'll pull through.

This is my love letter,
let's meet at the Center.

Passengers

5/31/2017

Never Slept,
Here I Am,
Chose To Think,
Or Drink?

Hell If I Know,
Sonofabitch,
Why Am I Going So Slow?
Got This Itch.

Must Be That Yellow Scar,
What's Next At The Color Bar?
Fuck, It's Late,
Sonofabitch, Irate.

Pull This Trigger Off,
Beg,
I Could Give A Fuck,
*Scoff*
Armed Powder Keg.

Fuck You, It Was Unanimous,
Got To Get Clear,
Burn Away The Gangrene,
My Intervention Miraculous.

Fixing Shit For You All,
Of Course I'd Fucking Do It,
You Expect Me To Fall?
Despite Our Recent Split?

Give Me A Fucking Break,
I'll Never Stop Loving You,
Why Else Do You Think I Try To Remain?

Shut The Fuck Up, You Too,
Always Whining About My Plans,
Who The Fuck You Think You're Speaking To?
I Am A Lion, You Are Lambs.

We Always Split The Weight,
No Room To Argue,
Had To Sedate,
Asking Myself, Who Are You?

I Used To Fucking Know You,
Then You Broke Again,
Fuck, Damn You,
Wrecked Pain.

Drunken Colored Chains,
Get A Hold Of Yourself!
Fucking Remains,
Dial That Line, Self-Help.

Then Fucking Take My Hand!
Jeezus, Lessons Broken,
Look Where We Stand!
Time Stolen.

Need You Back,
Mess And A Half Here,
Enter Flashback,
Let's Be A Mess Together, Hear?

We Need To Talk [About] Z

5/17/2017

It Wasn't, I Am Telling You,
It Wasn't My Choice!
Damn It, Boys!

So Far, You Feel,
Separated Not Just Across The Hall,
Pass The Tall Wall,
Come On, Man, Talk!

Speak, Say Something!
No Banter, No Usual Insults?
Act On Impulse!

Let Me Push You, Here,
I Touch You,
Let Me Feel You, Here,
Drink, Fool!

Take A Sip, Here I Reach,
I Must Breach!

Taste Your Lips, Here, Sibling,
Quit Drifting!
Let's Begin Your Upbringing,
Kisses Singing.

So Here I Go, Deep Under,
To Take You, Grab My Hand,
Let's Wander.

Fade Into Me, Brother,
Tastes Like None Other,
None Can Match You,
Never Been Able To Touch You,
The Same Way You Touch Me.

Feel That Now?
That Spark, That Fire?
Sweet Bitter Taste Transpire,
On Your Tongue, Your Palate,
That Burning Habit.

I Recall The Intoxicating Fire,
A Copulating Coronation,
So I'll Begin Causation.

A Serpent's Bite To Bring You Forward,
You Hear Me Coming Down The Hall,
Staring Cockeyed And Hugging The Wall.

I'm Reddish All Over,
I'm About To Crossover.

Last Time You Saw Me Like This,
I Destroyed Your Plans,
I Know I've Got Mine Now,
Here, Cuff My Hands.

I Need You Out Here,
Fight The Puppeteer!
Make These Strings Disappear!
Come On, Z, Persevere!

I'm Coming, Brother,
Together,
We'll Recover.

Massive Addictive

4/27/2017

Something I Should Have Known,
A Warning At Best,
She Radiated The Place,
A Powerful Flame, I Must Confess.

She Overtook Me, Against My Best Interest,
Damn You, Z, I Told You,
The Contingent.

But You Never Listen, Brother,
Although Now I Can See,
I Wouldn't Change A Thing,
I'm The Water, She's The Sea.

Together Until The End Of All Things,
I Crave You More And More,
Your Touch, Your Smirk And Laugh,
The Way You Annoy Me,
Makes Me Adore
You.

So Listen Dearest,
You're A Massive Addictive,
More Intoxicating Than Rage,
You Are My Perfect Wicked Twisted.

And So The Noise Continues To Roam,
Or Am I Paranoid,
Where Is My Mind These Days,
Feels Like It'll Go Off,
A Bomb.

What's That Screeching Sound,
I Keep Hearing Next To The Window,
Is This What You Did To Me?
Unhinged The Beast,
Put Under Control With Your Touch,
Where's Patient Zero?

I'm Looking For Answers,
Why Am I Confused?
This Unattainable Feeling,
That Yellow Dancer,
Why Are You Smiling?

Is It Comical, What You See?
Go Ahead Laugh,
Where Is The Key?
What Have You Done?
Not On My Behalf.

What In The Blue Hell Is This?
This Kind Of Madness,
A Fire To Flame To Light And Glow,
Ignite The Bomb Inside This Chest, You Wild Apparatus.
So Trigger The Button, Pull The Gun,
I Am No Slave, I Answer To None.

This Hold, These Chains, What Is This So?
I Scream, I Shout, It Helps For A Minute,
Nothing Tastes As Sweet And Sour, Oh?
You Are My Person Suit.

So Take My Hand And Join,
Light And Darkness,
Conjoined.