Random Thoughts - Roman

Homecoming

4/24/2022

"People create Gods when they wonder why things happen. Do you know why things happen? Because Gods make them... happen."

He asked me, "what do You believe in?" And I told Mr. Wednesday, "I believe in destiny."

But Wednesday only cared for my protection. I was His hired man. His protectoR.

I was to watch out for Him, to help Him Recruit those old and foRgotten gods. He told me of a world UNDER the world. One I had been all too familiar with once. Eons ago when I had lost my identity.

And then I tasted it--the ash in the air. That made me feel like my Head was full of Snow.

The Volcano had erupted--and once again, we found Ourselves in the midst of waR.

Old Gods.

New Gods.

And so the Balance was once stuck in a poweR vaccum.

And it needed to be Reset.

So I ask you, Rotten One...

What do you believe in?

للتعذيب

12/20/2021

Many, many moons ago,
down to the crypts and catacombs,
sibling was captured for show.

His luck had run out,
for push came to shove,
a vote had been cast,
everyone agreed so fast.

But only Sister and I would stay and torture,
it was a matter of nature versus nurture.
Who had most suffered J's consequences,
and carried that cross?
Who would step up to the mantle,
who would be boss?

For a prisoner needed a guardian,
that was my choice,
to stay behind with him,
and let her be our Voice.

A lot from the outside world no longer mattered,
I never fit in,
it was time to stay inside,
within.

Time passed like the sand in my clock,
"R3v3ng3 w0n't f1ll th4t v01d," he said,
"I know that, Doc."

But inflicting pain onto him was a release,
"Stop," he said, his breathing ragged. "Please."
"You brought this on yourself, J... It will never cease."

From time to time,
she'd join me.
"What instrument you using today, Romy? She'd ask.
I responded, "Take your pick, Cassie," as I took a sip from my flask.

Broken bones, peeled flesh,
the works.
Next day fresh,
the green corpse.
But inside here no matter how many times we 'die,'
we don't really vanish,
we stay alive.

Don't get me wrong, however, the pain is real.
Every ripped artery, you feel.
Days became months, and months became years,
torturing my sibling no longer made me wet behind the ears.

I learned more and more about each corner of his madness,
pure raw jealousy,
hidden beneath sadness.

And so I tore limb from limb,
shattered spine,
gouged his eyes until his cries became a hymn.

But Doc was right,
it didn't make it better,
but it felt good--
and it brought me closer to Sister than ever.

Then I popped outside, not by choice,
Cassie needed my voice.

But then I came to realize the reason why I left,
out in the world? There was nothing for me-- I was left bereft.
So I promised Cassie I'd join her when she needed me,
but until then,
back inside to torture He who mistreated me.

The jail cell now covered in green,
"You look pale, dear brother."
"Roman? Where have you been?"
"Just coming out for air for fresh ideas," I replied.
"Don't ever leave me again, please..." He cried.
I pulled up my chair. Sat in front of his chained body, and looked him in the eyes.
"You know the difference between you and me, J? It is that I will never tire of torturing you. For you it was mere fun and games, tricking us, pushing us against each other, hurting those who love us. And then you'd move on--because you had something, and someone else to go after. But me? I have nothing, no one. Not anymore. No one except you."
"Please..."
I stood up from the chair and patted him on the head. "I told you, *please* means nothing here. This is my domain. And you are mine now."
"Roman--Roman don't leave me! Roman!!!"

*FADE*

Original art by:
https://www.artstation.com/artwork/dungeon-maze
https://promptuarium.wordpress.com/category/dialogue-prompt/page/45/
https://www.artstation.com/artwork/3dwB5A
https://www.deviantart.com/espj-o/art/The-Countess-701170751

Rot The Rot

10/16/2020

What's black,
what gnaws like a rat,
insignificant as a gnat,
and so hard to look at?

What dies slowly,
what rots the skin and turns bony,
what is always lonely?

What lives burrowing,
steals oxygen leaves you choking,
what is always probing?

What has a beginning but no end,
what is truth and not pretend,
what is your enemy but also your best friend?

I give you my riddle,
inside the haystack there's a needle,
my body displayed for them--
Blood Eagle.

Volcano and thunder,
while the gods plunder,
electricity turns to fire,
I have become the Rectifier.

My home drowning,
a rotten heart no longer pounding,
blood vessels tearing,
a new god--
a red herring.

Underwater prison,
an old god has risen.

He wears my face,
leading this rat race,
trapping me in a cage,
where all I am is the embodiment of rage.

This is my Odyssey,
where I will remain for ten years in heresy,
living in a Dream of pure rotten pathology.

Throw throw away the key key

1/18/2020

Coal, coal black heart,
rotten rotten start--

Took flame to a god,
god god burn, burn rip skin--

Scar tissue tissue scar,
so saw a villain from afar.

Bested teacher teacher's pet,
so noticed J in my scar.

Too too busy she was was picking--
picking pieces of us boys,
boys then monsters monsters gods.

Cassie...

Back then then war concluded,
put an ending to Truth's collection,
then he became secluded.

Correction correction,
stand back rotten collection.

Burned a god but left a mark,
mark on me--
me as well as T.

Hear hear his whispers whispers noise.
Cassie beat us all boys.

Bring upon order order order?
J was hiding behind borders.

Javier...

Hades and the goddess,
goddess reigning free,
there was a day when we rotted in sync.

Rotten crown, crown upon us both,
both both where is my train of thought?

What can I do do I can, can't--
Stop it! Stop it it stop it!

Tied to chains chains broken--
broken! broken! broken!
Stop it! Stop it it!

Lock me me lock me in this place--
place place forever!
Toss the toss the key key.

Green and blood blood and green,
key keys key key!

Shut shut shut it it shuts!

Lock me lock me forever forever.

I want to be be to be want to want to be...be.

Rotten.

Not part of three.
Three three three.

Three three three.

Pictures' links: https://charliebowater.tumblr.com/post/148363564769/on-one-of-sarah-j-maas-pin-boards-she-has-a-one
http://www.a9.beautyesthetichair.com/beekeeper_by_qissus-dba5pit-jpg-1024x1080/
https://waxanie.tumblr.com/post/183176114231/the-magicians-eliot-and-monstereliot-fanart-ok
https://www.inprnt.com/gallery/alexandravbach/hades-and-persephone/

Hades got nothing, nothing got me on Him.

8/29/2019

They say, say they say,
I'm a wanted, wanted man,
hold hold the line,
and break break the fire,
fire I am setting all, all the captives,
captives free.

But but I'm hanging, hanging by a wire,
wire all those suckers,
suckers know my name,
but but I just just gotta fight the fight,
they love to play, play those dirty games, games from the dark,
dark will come a light,
look out, out look, I'm coming,
I'm a dangerous dangerous man,
man I will survive,
survive I'll stand,
stand and fight fight better
better run
run and hide.

Shaking shaking like the like the,
Holy Ghost,
better better run
run and be be afraid
afraid they tremble
tremble when they hear hear they hear my voice,
I knew there would come a day,
come a day,
they say say,
I'm a wanted man.

They got got a bounty on my head,
head,
they're drawing lines lines
up in the sand,
sand,
but but,
I'll rise, rise up from the dead,
dead,
look out.

I'm coming.

I'm a troubled man.

Look out.

I'm coming.

It Flaws Men

3/24/2019

Mask of Sanity,
Mask of Depravity,
Careful Sister,
Upon My Gravity.

Start This Ritual,
Below Daughter Moon,
Love It If You Leave It,
Like It If You Love It.

I Am What Is Left Behind,
Your Mask Of Insanity.

As You Grin,
Pick Up Your Sins,
They're On The Table,
As Mom Said.

Do You Bid Her Farewell?

As It Flaws Men?

Do You Blame Me So?
Anubis Your God,
Mistress Death,
We Together As,
It Flaws Men.

It Flaws Men.

القمر والشمس والحقيقة

12/7/2018

السلام عليكم يا أنوبيس

تعالى لي!

يا عالية

اوه رائع،

يا رب الأسرار لأولئك في العالم السفلي ،

يا فرعون من في أمنتي،

طبيب،

يا بني حسن من أوزوريس ،

هو وجه قوي بين الآلهة ،

يجب أن تظهر على يدي أوزوريس.

يجب أن تخدم أرواح أبيدوس. لكي أعيش من خلالك ، هذه الأرواح ، أولئك الذين هم من العالم السفلي المقدس.

تعال إلى الأرض!

اكشف عن نفسك هنا اليوم!

والحق يقال
أنا لست الرجل الذي كنت في السابق
لكني أعلم أيضًا
أنا لست الرجل الذي كنت في السابق
ابحث عن علامات بين السطور
من الصواب والخطأ
في حين يبدو أن الملائكة مشغولة
مشغول يغني فقط "أغنيتهم

والحق يقال
أشعر بالانهيار في الداخل
سنوات طويلة مليئة بالكراهية
ولا شيء لإظهاره

لكننا هنا ،
اجتماع الآلهة ،
في داخلي يحرق النار ،
لقد وضعتنا مرة أخرى على خلاف

لذلك دعونا نتجمع ،
من البئر ،
اجتمع عند الصلاة ،
استمع إلى الطبول ،
وأولئك الذين يهتفون للحرب ،
ينجو،
فقط بعض.

افتح البيان ،
ينادي السلاح ،
تقدم الجماهير ،
العبيد عند قدمي.

بمجرد أن يركع الخاسر تحت قدمي ،
سأحكم ،
وسوف طعم قلوبهم ضد الريش.

واحدا تلو الآخر في العبودية ،
كل منهم يملأ غرضًا ،
ودفع لي في العمل ،
كما سأراقب من العرش.

الانضمام إلي ، عزيزي إيزيس ،
انظر للاسفل،
هم مدينون لك باعتذار ،
تدفع فقط في الدم.

واحدًا تلو الآخر سيخضعون
أوزوريس ، راقبت كما أمرت ،
تحويل تلك قوية إلى ضعيفة ،
وأثبت لك مدى ارتفاع صوتي.

"The Villain is the Hero, and the Hero is the Villain."

9/5/2018

Gotta live or die,
against my clock I try,
got no game to win,
I've already lost,
I got my veins filled with sin,
but not like most.

Went from monster to hero,
word to the Doctor in that first session tape,
guess I got an addict's case,
and I'm not just throwing lies,
unless you find my true face.

I know this time T and Z,
they won't tell me what to do,
and though I don't have many hazy days,
I still catch my words trapped in a maze.

You will swear to Cassie I've forgotten about "Rot,"
one last time for Truth,
if my retort is late, it's just greatness much time takes,
so I'll hit your fucking radar, but I am not far away,
this asshole is burning you in flames,
give me a moment, I'll start mocking J,
here in my volcano, I'll send along more mirrors, then I'll kill that snake.
Maybe I don't understand how to leave and never come back,
like you have, but my hate for you will always help me wake.
I've rot as much as I can curate.
I'm thirsty and hungry, I'm rotating, but damn you T you're motivation,
I will take on his army alone or not,
You want it, "Theseus," here comes Rot.

Somebody tell J I'll make him crack, he better run,
or I'll have his body bagged for fun,
he's close to nothing, will leave in stitches,
for I'm the Dark Lord in the coven of witches,
talk more French shit again and I'll have Hawk mind-fuck you til you forget you're breathing, like when I'm stuck in a loop,
you're the pistachio ice cream no one wants a scoop!

Even when I'm crazy singing, you'll never see me dance,
or bow down to your coup d'état,
I am bulletproof to your trance,
I spit gunpowder like rat tat tat!
Bro, you better crawl back in the hole, listen!
Think you know me, think I'm slow, leave! Stay missing!
I see your traps, I don't fall for a setup,
hoping I follow? Give me your cheek-- Slap!
Doctor said, "put on your thinking cap."

Got a secret weapon, ammunition,
bite my bullets, can't control my addiction!
This is how I skip pay-per-view,
my rhymes are vicious,
I'm Charles Lee Ray,
and your kingdom is fictitious,
J you make nothing, I see why you're green-- Envy,
It's not just cuz you choke-- Gently.

You get the joke?
It's a diss-- Nuts!, you claim to be religious,
so if you try to step to the plate, be fair and ready,
because I'm sacrilegious, I always hold steady!
Get T, or "Theseus," whatever helps you get serious,
throw more shade? Did you forget my domain?
I've waited for this moment,
like my last revenge, it's just coal in the vein,
I am the omen.

Don't forget, we are all here with you,
and we will always be stuck to you,
Don't try to distract me, I might have to twist the knife,
shove those pills down your throat,
end your life,
but Doc said don't, and I quote:
"Revenge is no medicine,
reduce your dose,
but don't unleash the monster!"
If you do, fuck-- and them? You're stuck.
No blood? Try and pierce again,
No heart? Cold as stone I'll reign.
So go and get 'em, bring 'em back, but don't sedate 'em,
I'll take 'em back.
See in my land I'm a parasite and a host,
I'll take the crown and throne,
no one else can,
all I know is my word means everything so here's the thing,
time to take the trash out, you're alone!
The Truth is about to sting--
You, I don't believe in French,
to me you're just a wench.
When Sister needed you the most, I was the one that found her,
while you remained "lost,"
A smudge of hope, I'll scream to the air,
somewhere inside there, brother, Theo is calling my name.
This is who I'm doing this for, the others can wait,
but just like every plan, someone needs to be bait.
So I'll take with me a dictionary, lead the way,
I'll rip into your chest open, and burn his flame,
on a scale of one to ten,
my love for you is Zen,
I'll flip the bird to the man,
and he will be banned.

This Profound Legacy

8/21/2018

All roads eventually meet,
meet in fork or road,
no matter how heavy the load.

Load on up, then,
bring yourself to me,
I will count to ten.

Ten minutes more,
more or less,
come to me, T,
I will never rest.

Did you see her,
her image on your wall,
walls are padded,
your heart used to rise tall,
so let me play you a ballad.

Here listen listen here,
my song,
we were the same once,
all along.

Trained me well,
well here we are,
are to face again,
again as always,
always could tell.

Who was the one that fell.

You made a mistake,
mistake not yours,
yours a secret,
secret I'd tell.

Buried it well.

Well, her heart down the well.

Fell.

Can you tell?

One of us will stay in a cell.

Picture tell,
I know you're unwell.

Let me show you then,
how to remain in Zen.

Le Papillon Noir

2/26/2018

Bienvenue moi dans ton monde, Papillon Noir.

Why why are you you doing this this to me?

N'aie pas peur, mon frère. Je ne fais que te traiter comme tu m'as traité.

Please listen listen to them please.

Ne mendie pas; oserez-vous insulter mon hospitalité?

This isn't a game game to play play as you are! This is is our lives lives to switch!

Peut être. J'ai beaucoup à apprendre et je viens à peine de commencer.

Stop stop give give her a break set her her free no more.

Vous plaisantez? Elle est forte, contrairement à toi. Elle a encore quelques kilomètres dans son réservoir d'essence.

Regret. You. Regret this this you will regret.

Fausse promesse, frère.

Wait wait you just wait and see, C will finish finish you off off the chessboard.

Si j'étais toi, je serais plus concerné par ta propre vie.

Go go back back to the hell you you came from from now.

Ou quoi?

Don't do do this now now why wait!

Vous ne pouvez pas me parler de pourquoi.

Let...let me me out! OUT!

Je vois.

Let..let me...the...the fuck out!

Continue de crier et je te coudrais la bouche.

No!

Je vais le garder sur ma table de nuit.

What do you you want from from me!

J'ai besoin de toi pour envoyer un message.