"Close to people,
I was once,
took me days and months,
to realize."
There is nothing more painful than to watch those who care about you walk away. Except, that is, realizing they're walking away because of you--or what you did to them.
This is one of life's hardest lessons out there; for people like me, it has happened multiple times, over and over again, like a sick cycle that is stuck on repeat with no end in sight.
The problem was, that most of those times it occurred, I never realized it was because of me. I was the problem. I caused those people to walk away; and by the gods above, they hung around me longer than they probably should have.
In the end, all I could do was put on a smile.
Smile and wave them goodbye.
See, sometimes who you know, is who you hurt.
And for me, it has gradually become an easier pill to swallow.
Up until a year ago, I still had an inner circle. Then came the time when something horrible took over my life, and hit me hard on the nogging, making me realize what I would need to do next.
And this, was to completely obliterate my friendships.
So I did.
I pushed everyone away.
One.
Last.
Time.
And now, what do I feel?
Nothing.
I feel nothing.
Does it make me a horrible person? Did I spare them the trouble I would bring or continue to bring?
Was it selfish of me to do this? Some of those individuals took it very hard, others denied it, and some, were just angry at me for it.
Understandable, sure.
Did I do it for me?
One hundred percent.
And I should have done it sooner.
Now I just let those chips fall where they may.
I was once,
took me days and months,
to realize."
There is nothing more painful than to watch those who care about you walk away. Except, that is, realizing they're walking away because of you--or what you did to them.
This is one of life's hardest lessons out there; for people like me, it has happened multiple times, over and over again, like a sick cycle that is stuck on repeat with no end in sight.
The problem was, that most of those times it occurred, I never realized it was because of me. I was the problem. I caused those people to walk away; and by the gods above, they hung around me longer than they probably should have.
In the end, all I could do was put on a smile.
Smile and wave them goodbye.
See, sometimes who you know, is who you hurt.
And for me, it has gradually become an easier pill to swallow.
Up until a year ago, I still had an inner circle. Then came the time when something horrible took over my life, and hit me hard on the nogging, making me realize what I would need to do next.
And this, was to completely obliterate my friendships.
So I did.
I pushed everyone away.
One.
Last.
Time.
And now, what do I feel?
Nothing.
I feel nothing.
Does it make me a horrible person? Did I spare them the trouble I would bring or continue to bring?
Was it selfish of me to do this? Some of those individuals took it very hard, others denied it, and some, were just angry at me for it.
Understandable, sure.
Did I do it for me?
One hundred percent.
And I should have done it sooner.
Now I just let those chips fall where they may.
"Close to people,
I was once,
took me days and months,
to realize--
had I done this years before,
saved them pain and bore,
perhaps I could have then being able to see,
that it was what I needed to be free."
I was once,
took me days and months,
to realize--
had I done this years before,
saved them pain and bore,
perhaps I could have then being able to see,
that it was what I needed to be free."
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