"You sound upset," I told her.
"You sound like you've given up," she replied.
"All I can do, really, all I must do is just walk away."
"I don't want to lose you as a friend."
"I hate being like this, I wasn't always."
"But you are now and that's okay."
As he stared at the ceiling, lying in bed, his words failed him. He tried hard to convince her to stay away, but she wanted nothing to do with it. He contemplated the reason why she had entered his life after going years with no one, in solitude, shutting his old friends away forever.
He didn't want to fall asleep with fear of running into her in the corners of his subconscious once more. His mind playing tricks on him, planting ideas that could never be. Like dead roots of a plant refusing to die, clutching with them under the ground. Would he wake up angry the next day if he did fall asleep, he wondered. Trying his damnest to hide his smile behind the rage, knowing she wouldn't be around to ask why. To give him that look screaming 'Talk to me!' as to rip the mask out to reveal the smile, the laugh and the jokes.
Would he remain calm, remembering her words in the night, giving him some peace, some room to breathe at ease, knowing she was strong. Knowing that despite the pain and the hurt, that she would hold on, that the last thing she'd want is to see him disappear. That perhaps, one day, miles away from this town, years from this quiet night, he would get a text from her that would remind him why she told him to hold on, why she reminded him that there was good in him.
That, he didn't know. All he could do was hope that as he stared at the ceiling, his eyes would grow tired, the tears now dried away, and his mind would travel safely into the realm where echoes of memories floated away. And perhaps, if he saw her there, her smile would comfort him, and he would be okay then.
------------------------------------------------------- O -------------------------------------------------------
Flash forward in time: the first fall out.
One simple moment and it changed everything. I could not see her the same way as I had before. All I could feel was the rage, the anger, the uncontrollable, loud, screaming voice in my head saying 'I told you so' and me not believing it. Not wanting anything to do with it--not wanting to agree with it.
It was hard at first, avoiding her. It was almost impossible. He was angry at her, but I did not want to lose her as a friend. There had to be a way to fix it. To fix it all.
"Do what you have to do."
"I don't think so."
------------------------------------------------------- O -------------------------------------------------------
Flash forward in time: the second fall out.
This time, it was me. One simple moment, and it all came crumbling down again.
"Don't talk to me."
"Exactly how I feel."
------------------------------------------------------- O -------------------------------------------------------
Flash forward in time: calm.
What is it about you that I still can't wrap my head around?
You are one of our most complicated Chapters; one that is constantly changing.
And that annoys the crap outta the other guy.
And I think I enjoy that a bit too much.
"You sound like you've given up," she replied.
"All I can do, really, all I must do is just walk away."
"I don't want to lose you as a friend."
"I hate being like this, I wasn't always."
"But you are now and that's okay."
As he stared at the ceiling, lying in bed, his words failed him. He tried hard to convince her to stay away, but she wanted nothing to do with it. He contemplated the reason why she had entered his life after going years with no one, in solitude, shutting his old friends away forever.
He didn't want to fall asleep with fear of running into her in the corners of his subconscious once more. His mind playing tricks on him, planting ideas that could never be. Like dead roots of a plant refusing to die, clutching with them under the ground. Would he wake up angry the next day if he did fall asleep, he wondered. Trying his damnest to hide his smile behind the rage, knowing she wouldn't be around to ask why. To give him that look screaming 'Talk to me!' as to rip the mask out to reveal the smile, the laugh and the jokes.
Would he remain calm, remembering her words in the night, giving him some peace, some room to breathe at ease, knowing she was strong. Knowing that despite the pain and the hurt, that she would hold on, that the last thing she'd want is to see him disappear. That perhaps, one day, miles away from this town, years from this quiet night, he would get a text from her that would remind him why she told him to hold on, why she reminded him that there was good in him.
That, he didn't know. All he could do was hope that as he stared at the ceiling, his eyes would grow tired, the tears now dried away, and his mind would travel safely into the realm where echoes of memories floated away. And perhaps, if he saw her there, her smile would comfort him, and he would be okay then.
------------------------------------------------------- O -------------------------------------------------------
Flash forward in time: the first fall out.
One simple moment and it changed everything. I could not see her the same way as I had before. All I could feel was the rage, the anger, the uncontrollable, loud, screaming voice in my head saying 'I told you so' and me not believing it. Not wanting anything to do with it--not wanting to agree with it.
It was hard at first, avoiding her. It was almost impossible. He was angry at her, but I did not want to lose her as a friend. There had to be a way to fix it. To fix it all.
"Do what you have to do."
"I don't think so."
------------------------------------------------------- O -------------------------------------------------------
Flash forward in time: the second fall out.
This time, it was me. One simple moment, and it all came crumbling down again.
"Don't talk to me."
"Exactly how I feel."
------------------------------------------------------- O -------------------------------------------------------
Flash forward in time: calm.
What is it about you that I still can't wrap my head around?
You are one of our most complicated Chapters; one that is constantly changing.
And that annoys the crap outta the other guy.
And I think I enjoy that a bit too much.
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